Big Fish Script Final copy.pdf

LIBRETTO

Big Fish

Book by JOHN AUGUST

Music and Lyrics by ANDREW LIPPA

Based on the novel by Daniel Wallace

and the Columbia Motion Picture

written by John August

570 Seventh Avenue, Suite 2100

New York, NY 10018

866-378-9758 toll-free

212-643-1322 fax

www.theatricalrights.com

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Character Ranges

BIG FISH

www.theatricalrights.com

EDWARD BLOOM WILL BLOOM SANDRA BLOOM

KARL JENNY HILL AMOS CALLOWAY

THE WITCH YOUNG WILL DON PRICE

ZACKY PRICE

ACT I

SCENE 1

RIVER BANK

(Lights rise on a river)

#1 PROLOGUE

(Reveal EDWARD at the river’s edge. He’s

dressed in a suit, tie loosened. He skips a

stone across the water. WILL enters stage

right. He’s dressed in a jacket and tie.)

WILL

Dad? Mom’s looking for you.

EDWARD

I don’t know why we need rehearsal dinners. These people have

been eating dinner their whole lives. They don’t need practice.

WILL

(a smile)

Is this where you taught me to fish?

EDWARD

You caught a catfish this big.

(He measures three feet with his hands)

WILL

It was about half that size, but thank you. And thank you for

cleaning it.

(beat)

Dad, about tomorrow...

EDWARD

You’re nervous.

WILL

I’m not.

EDWARD

You are. You got that twitch. I recognize it.

Act 1 - Scene 1

WILL

Dad...

EDWARD

When you were a kid, you’d never jump in the pool. I’d have to

sneak up and push ya.

WILL

Yeah, that was fun for me. Actually, I wanted to talk about

you...

EDWARD

My favorite subject!

WILL

So, Josephine and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell any

of your stories at the wedding.

EDWARD

My stories.

WILL

And jokes. No stories, no jokes. No anecdotes.

EDWARD

Oh. Okay, Will. Gotcha. Understood.

WILL

Thanks.

EDWARD

You used to like my stories, though -- especially the one about

the witch.

WILL

I was six.

EDWARD

You were never six. You were born a tiny middle-aged man.

(EDWARD has a pain in his side)

WILL

You okay?

EDWARD

I’m fine. You’re the one in trouble here. You ready to get

married?

Act 1 - Scene 1

WILL

I am.

EDWARD

(tossing WILL a stone)

Then here’s to what’s next.

WILL

To what’s next.

(EDWARD exits. WILL holds a moment, thinking

back.)

[MUSIC SEGUES]

Act 1 - Scene 1

SCENE 2

A BOY’S BEDROOM

#2 BE THE HERO

(WILL trades places with YOUNG WILL, who

sits on his bed. WILL exits. EDWARD enters

with a traveling case.)

EDWARD

Evening, son.

YOUNG WILL

Where were you? You missed my game.

EDWARD

How do you know I wasn’t hiding in the stands? Maybe I didn’t

want to spook you, keep you from hittin’ that home run.

YOUNG WILL

We were playing soccer.

EDWARD

That’s barely a sport. Now, what story’s it gonna be tonight?

YOUNG WILL

I already marked it. Here.

(He hands EDWARD a book--it’s “The Iliad”)

EDWARD

You don’t want this. These are prefabricated. Predigested. Let

me tell you a real story –

YOUNG WILL

(wary)

You mean another story about you.

EDWARD

A story about life!

YOUNG WILL

Dad -- can you even read?

EDWARD

I can read just fine! Look...

Act 1 - Scene 2

EDWARD (CON’T)

(Clearing throat; making a real effort)

Chapter nine: “Thus kept the Trojans watch, but the ay-KEE-uns

were holden of wondrous Panic...”

(checking book cover)

The hell is this book?

YOUNG WILL

It’s about the Trojan War.

EDWARD

Okay. Ancient Rome and all that.

YOUNG WILL

They’re actually Greek.

EDWARD

That’s my point! We live in Alabama, Will. We got stories under

every leaf and every stone.

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

YOU COULD CHANGE THE WORLD WITH JUST ONE THOUGHT

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

YOU COULD BE A KING

ANYTHING YOU DESIRED, BOY

ANYTHING ON A PLATE

ALL WITHIN YOUR POWER TO CREATE

I KNOW SOMEWHERE IN THE DARKNESS

THERE’S A STORY MEANT FOR ME

WHERE I ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY

I KNOW SOMEWHERE SOME SURPRISING ENDING

WAITS FOR ME TO TELL IT MY OWN WAY

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY IF YOU CAN

BE THE CHAMPION IN THE FIGHT

NOT JUST THE MAN

DON’T DEPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE

TO PUT PAPER NEXT TO PEN

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY, BOY, AND THEN

YOU CAN RISE TO BE THE HERO ONCE AGAIN

Now, best part of an adventure is the people you meet.

(Reveal THE WITCH--EDWARD greets her.)

Act 1 - Scene 2

EDWARD (CON’T)

WHAT IF I SAID

I MET A WITCH WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG

WHAT IF I SAID

SHE SHOWED ME HOW I DIE

YOUNG WILL

How you die?

EDWARD

POWERLESS IN THE FACE OF IT

TERRIFIED IN THE WOOD

THAT WAS WHERE MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOR GOOD

(THE WITCH exits; reveal THE GIANT--EDWARD

shakes his hand.)

EDWARD

HEY!

WHAT IF I SAID

I MET A GIANT WASTING IN A CAVE

WHAT IF I CLAIMED I ROSE TO BE FAR BRAVER THAN THE BRAVE

ALL MY LIFE OF STORIES, SON, AND EVERY ONE IS TRUE

SO BELIEVE ME AS I’M TELLING YOU

TO BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY WHILE YOU MAY

BE THE GUY WHO GETS THE GIRL AND SAVES THE DAY

YOU DON’T NEED A BOOK OF GREEKS

TO TEACH YOU HOW TO STAY ALIVE

BE THE HERO OF EACH STORY YOU DERIVE

THEN FOREVER YOU’RE THE STORY WHO’LL SURVIVE

EVERY TALE THAT YOU INVENT

CAN BE A LIFE THAT YOU MAKE REAL

WHERE EACH CHARACTER YOU MEET

BECOMES YOUR FRIEND

(ENSEMBLE enters, each one dressed as we

will see them later in the show.)

YOU DON’T NEED TO BE A NOVELIST

TO MAKE BELIEVE WHAT'S WAITING 'ROUND THE BEND

EDWARD AND ENSEMBLE

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY ‘TIL IT’S DONE

WHY GO PROMENADE WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO RUN

Act 1 - Scene 2

EDWARD

IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PREMISE

YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE

EDWARD AND SOME ENSEMBLE

YOU CAN CONQUER EVERY CHALLENGE

YOU CAN FACE EACH STEPPING STONE

EDWARD AND FULL ENSEMBLE

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY

(EDWARD spots THE MERMAID in the river)

EDWARD

WHAT IF I SWORE

I SAW A MERMAID SWIMMING IN THE MIST

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU

SHE WOULD BE THE FIRST GIRL THAT I KISSED

OUT THERE NEAR THE WATER

FILLED WITH EAGERNESS AND FEAR

HERE IS WHAT SHE WHISPERED IN MY EAR:

EDWARD AND FULL ENSEMBLE

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY

(Quick kiss--As music builds, EDWARD helps

THE MERMAID out of the river.)

EDWARD

Something about that kiss transformed her.

(She now has legs! She dances.)

Pretty as she was in the water, she was even more beautiful out

of it.

(she blows a kiss and spins out)

One day, I met this fisherman...

(A FRUSTRATED FISHERMAN enters)

FRUSTRATED FISHERMAN

You gottta help me! If I don’t catch a fish, my family’s gonna

starve!

Act 1 - Scene 2

EDWARD

The fish are sleepin’! You gotta get ‘em movin’.

(an idea)

Try the Alabama Stomp!

(EDWARD launches into a stomping dance step.

One fish jumps out of the river, landing on

stage --it’s incredible!)

EDWARD

Works every time!

(then)

C’mon, Will!

(EDWARD dances again. YOUNG WILL tries to

follow, but gives up halfway through.

Another fish jumps out! THE FISHERMAN

catches it in his bucket.)

EDWARD

(to THE FISHERMAN)

C’mon, pilgrim. Let’s see what you got.

(THE FISHERMAN joins EDWARD in the

Alabama Stomp)

EDWARD

Something about this rhythm really gets their fins movin’.

(They finish the step -- but this time, no

fish jump out.)

YOUNG WILL

Dad -- Couldn’t you just give him some money?

EDWARD

(to YOUNG WILL)

See Will, give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man

to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man the Alabama

Stomp, you feed his soul!

(to the others)

C’mon! Everybody! We gotta help this guy.

[MUSIC BUILDS]

Act 1 - Scene 2

(More and more people join in)

[SFX: WATERY SOUNDS]

(The river begins to churn)

[MUSIC BUILDS]

[SFX: RUMBLE]

(Then suddenly, fish shoot out of the river-

-As they celebrate, the ENSEMBLE gathers up

the fish.)

EDWARD (CON’T)

I KNOW SOMEWHERE IN THE FUTURE

THERE'S ADVENTURE MADE FOR ME

FILLED WITH MYSTERY AND PEOPLE I CAN LOVE

I KNOW OUT THERE ON THE ROAD OF LIFE

I'LL LIVE THE STORY I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF

EDWARD AND ENSEMBLE

LIVE THE STORY I’VE BEEN DREAMING OF

BE THE HERO EVERY TIME YOU GET THE CHANCE

IF THE MUSIC STOPS CONTINUE WITH THE DANCE

EDWARD

ON A WING OR ON A PRAYER

YOU GET THERE ONLY WITH YOUR VOICE

EDWARD AND ENSEMBLE

BE ATTENTIVE

BE INVENTIVE

BE THE FIRST ONE TO REJOICE

WITH A STORY IN YOUR HEART

YOU WON’T NEED ANY OTHER CHOICE

YOU’RE A HERO, FIGHTING DRAGONS, WINNING WARS

BE THE HERO AND THE WORLD WILL SOON BE YOURS!!

#2A BE THE HERO (PLAYOFF)

(ENSEMBLE exits)

YOUNG WILL

What the hell was that?

Act 1 - Scene 2

EDWARD

It was a miracle, Will! C’mon.

YOUNG WILL

It doesn’t seem plausible.

EDWARD

Will...

YOUNG WILL

Dad, why do you tell so many crazy stories?

EDWARD

(momentarily stumped)

It’s who I am. Why does the sun shine?

YOUNG WILL

Because of fusion.

EDWARD

Lord, Will. It was a rhetorical question.

SANDRA

(offstage)

Edward!

EDWARD

(to YOUNG WILL)

Quick! Where’s that book?

SANDRA

(offstage)

Why is the light still on?

YOUNG WILL

Now you’re in trouble.

(SANDRA enters)

SANDRA

Edward Bloom! It’s nine o’clock on a school night. Let this boy

sleep.

EDWARD

I was just finishing this chapter on...

(random page from book)

Ag-UR-men-non. Why can’t anyone have a normal name like Chuck?

Act 1 - Scene 2

YOUNG WILL

Mom, can you really get fish to jump out of a river by doing the

Alabama Stomp?

SANDRA

I suppose anything’s possible.

(a look to EDWARD)

For example, I’ve heard legend of a brave and handsome man who

happily fixed the leaky sink in the bathroom the very first time

his wife asked without excuses or delay.

EDWARD

(to YOUNG WILL)

That there’s a myth. Except for the brave and handsome part.

SANDRA

(smile)

Lights out, both of you.

EDWARD

You heard your Mom.

(YOUNG WILL gets into bed. SANDRA exits.

EDWARD gives WILL a kiss on the top of his

head and turns off the bedside lamp. Just as

EDWARD is about to exit --)

YOUNG WILL

Dad?

EDWARD

Son.

YOUNG WILL

Did you really meet a Witch?

EDWARD

(knows he’s hooked him)

I did. But now, see...your Mom says I can’t tell you that story.

You’ll get nightmares.

YOUNG WILL

I’m not scared!

Act 1 - Scene 2

EDWARD

Neither was I -- at first.

(EDWARD sneaks back, getting in bed with

YOUNG WILL)

EDWARD

Now, it’s a well-established fact that most southern towns of a

certain size have a witch.

YOUNG WILL

Do we have a witch?

EDWARD

No, but we got two Dairy Queens, so we’re still comin’ out

ahead.

#2B BEFORE THE SWAMP

Now, small-town witches mostly keep to the minor incantations,

love spells, whatnot. But of all the witches in Alabama, there

was one who was the most renowned, for she could see the future.

YOUNG WILL

And she told you the future?

EDWARD

She showed me! That night in the swamp, three of us went looking

for her -- just three teenage boys on a dare.

[MUSIC STOPS]

I didn’t know she would change my life forever.

Act 1 - Scene 2

SCENE 3

THE SWAMP

#2C THE SWAMP

(A title card: “THE WITCH.”)

(EDWARD changes into a teenage version of

himself. The set changes, placing EDWARD in

the swamp.

“Teenage” DON PRICE and his little brother

ZACKY PRICE enter downstage right with

flashlights.)

[SFX: SWAMP NOISES and CROWS]

(EDWARD joins them. YOUNG WILL watches)

DON PRICE

Shhh! Quiet, Zacky!

ZACKY PRICE

I gotta bug in my drawers!

(tries to shake it out)

Help me, Don!

DON PRICE

I ain’t gettin’ near your drawers.

ZACKY PRICE

Oh oh oh it’s on the move!

(He grabs at his seat, like a dog chasing

its tail)

EDWARD

Use your flashlight! It’ll go towards the light.

(ZACKY shoves his flashlight down his

crotch)

DON PRICE

Not that way!

EDWARD

You want it to move down to your feet!

Act 1 - Scene 3

(ZACKY sits on the ground, sticking

the flashlight up his pant leg.)

ZACKY PRICE

It’s working!

(wriggling)

It’s out!

(DON stomps the bug)

DON PRICE

C’mon, let’s find that Witch.

(DON and EDWARD head off. ZACKY picks up the

carcass of the insect, then throws it in the

river.)

ZACKY PRICE

(realizing he’s alone)

Wait for me!

(He chases after them. As THE BOYS exit, the

trees begin to come to life. The roots

undulate, then magically transform into

WITCHES, who fill the stage with a rhythmic

dance.

When THE THREE BOYS re-enter, THE DANCING

WITCHES instantly wrap themselves in their

capes and become trees in the forest.)

EDWARD

We’re walkin’ in circles, Don.

DON PRICE

(getting in his face)

You wanna lead, go ahead Bloom. I don’t think there even is a

Witch.

(Suddenly, the WITCHES swirl apart and

reveal THE WITCH, a backwoods sorceress)

WITCH

Boys, you have broken a sacred circle. You better have a good

reason.

Act 1 - Scene 3

ZACKY PRICE

(tight squeal)

DON PRICE

We wanted our fortunes read.

WITCH

I can tell you the future with uncanny accuracy. Your loves,

your lives, your deaths. Dollar apiece.

(DON hands over his dollar)

ZACKY PRICE

(checking his pockets)

Can I borrow a dollar? I’ll pay you back.

WITCH

No he won’t.

ZACKY PRICE

(awed)

She knows!

DON PRICE

(to WITCH)

C’mon. Tell me my future.

WITCH

You asked for it.

(re: crystal ball)

Oh. Yes. The future is quite clear.

DON PRICE

What do you see? Do I get quarterback?

WITCH

You lead an unexceptional life, filled with minor triumphs and

major disappointments.

(beat)

And then you die.

DON PRICE

What? That’s it?!

Act 1 - Scene 3

WITCH

That’s all the spirits see for you.

DON PRICE

I want to know how rich I’m going to be.

WITCH

A dollar poorer than when you started.

(to EDWARD)

Now, as for you...

(EDWARD is surprised to be singled out)

DON PRICE

I want my money back!

(he grabs the crystal ball)

ZACKY PRICE

Don, don’t! She’ll hex you.

EDWARD

Give it back.

DON PRICE

How ‘bout I smash it?

(to the WITCH)

How you gonna do fortunes without your crystal ball?

[MUSIC OUT]

EDWARD

I said give it back.

DON PRICE

Or what? You think you can take me, Bloom?

(EDWARD reaches into his pocket and digs out

a bill)

EDWARD

Here’s your money back. Now hand it over.

DON PRICE

(handing it over)

Witch-lover.

Act 1 - Scene 3

ZACKY PRICE

(weakly imitating)

Witch-lover.

(ZACKY and DON exit)

EDWARD

(handing crystal ball)

Here you go.

(”goodnight”)

Ma’am.

WITCH

Don’t you want your fortune?

EDWARD

Let me guess:

#3 I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

I lead a “disappointing life and then I die.”

WITCH

Everyone dies, Edward Bloom.

(he turns)

But your death is glorious.

(re: crystal ball)

Let me show you.

EDWARD

Why would I want to see how I die?

WITCH

WHAT’S YOUR CONCERN?

ARE YOU SCARED OF HEARING ONE THING NEW

WHEN YOU COULD LEARN

SOMETHING SECRET THAT COULD HELP YOU THROUGH

IN ONE GOOD TURN

I CAN SHOW YOU COUNTERFEIT FROM TRUE

LIFE BEGINS WHEN YOU KNOW HOW IT ENDS

And yours is no ordinary life.

YOU BECOME IMPORTANT

YOU’RE THE BRAVEST MAN AROUND

YOU’RE THE KIND WITH VIRTUE

Act 1 - Scene 3

WITCH (CON’T)

ALWAYS FINDING COMMON GROUND

YOU CLIMB EACH HILL IN FRONT OF YOU

WITHOUT A SUFFERING SOUND

COMPASSIONATE AND WARM

THE CALM IN ANY STORM

OTHER WITCHES

SO, TAKE A CHANCE

WITCH

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW YOUR DAYS UNFOLD

OTHER WITCHES

AND IN ADVANCE

WITCH

YOU AND ME CAN PLAY THE HAND YOU HOLD

OTHER WITCHES

NOW JOIN THE DANCE

WITCH

WHEN YOU GAMBLE THEN YOU GET THE GOLD

OTHER WITCHES

LIFE BEGINS WHEN YOU KNOW HOW IT ENDS

WITCH

DON’T BELIEVE THE FAIRY TALES

THAT SAY LIFE IS A BREEZE

EVERY MAN MUST FACE A TRIAL

THAT BRINGS HIM TO HIS KNEES

BUT LET ME SHARE A MAGIC TRUTH

A PROOF OF ALL THAT THRIVES

THE ONES WHO FACE THEIR FEARS

LEAD THE MOST INTERESTING LIVES

OTHER WITCHES

INTERESTING LIVES

INTERESTING LIVES!!

(Dance sequence)

WITCH

SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT

Act 1 - Scene 3

EDWARD

I WANT A BIG LIFE

WITCH

AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE

EDWARD

I SEE A ROAD

WITCH

TELL ME WHERE IT GOES

EDWARD

IN ONE DIRECTION

WITCH OTHER WITCHES

SO, DON’T YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT’S NEXT OOH, OOH

WHAT’S WAITING IN THE VOID OOH, OOH

YOU MAY BE DISAPPOINTED OOH

BUT YOU MAY BE OVERJOYED!

[MUSIC SEGUES]

#3A EDWARD’S VISION

(THE WITCH holds out the crystal ball.

EDWARD peers in.

Lights shift--Spooky, but also glorious.

It’s what EDWARD will see at the end of the

play. As the moment ends, YOUNG WILL

appears.)

YOUNG WILL

What did she show you?

EDWARD

The last moments of my life.

YOUNG WILL

What were they? What did you see?

EDWARD

Surprise ending. Wouldn’t want to ruin it for you.

[MUSIC SEGUES]

Act 1 - Scene 3

#3B I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT (REPRISE)

EDWARD (CON’T)

(leading YOUNG WILL)

Though you were there. Your mother too -- but I didn’t know her

yet. She was just a girl with red hair.

(YOUNG WILL disappears)

WITCH

You’re gonna find that girl. But it won’t be easy.

(THE WITCH meets EDWARD center stage)

WITCH (CON’T)

SO...

ALL WITCHES

DON'T BE SAD

DON'T BE SCARED

BE ALERT

BE PREPARED

TAKE A BREATH

TAKE IT SLOW

LET UNCERTAINTY GO

(THE WITCHES cover EDWARD, who disappears)

WHEN YOU KNOW

(Reveal EDWARD, now transformed into his

older self. He readies a skipping stone.)

ALL WITCHES

HOW IT ENDS YOU BEGIN

OTHER WITCHES

WHEN YOU TRY

WITCH

YOU CAN FLY

ALL WITCHES

FLY!

Act 1 - Scene 3

#3C WITCH (PLAYOFF)

(As THE WITCHES exit, reveal GROWN-UP WILL

in a tuxedo. He trades places with YOUNG

WILL.)

Act 1 - Scene 3

SCENE 4

NEAR THE BANKS OF A RIVER

(Sunlight and trees. EDWARD is skipping more

stones.)

WILL

Dad, seriously, you need to get dressed. The wedding’s in forty-

five minutes.

EDWARD

(re: skipping stones)

See that? I almost got seven. Seven’s good luck.

(looks over)

You’ll need luck, what with that baby coming.

WILL

(trying to play it cool)

What are you talking about?

EDWARD

(watching WILL, a smile)

Josephine’s pregnant.

WILL

How do you..?

EDWARD

(re: WILL’s face)

‘Cuz you just told me, just now. See, back when I worked at the

circus, I developed a knack for reading expressions -- useful

with lions. Plus she didn’t drink at the rehearsal dinner.

WILL

Okay, Dad, nobody knows she’s pregnant. You can’t tell Mom.

EDWARD

Why not?

WILL

Because it’s super-early. Statistically, there’s a good chance

it could not happen so...

EDWARD

Statistically.

Act 1 - Scene 4

WILL

Yes.

EDWARD

You -- an Alabama boy -- meet an American girl all the way over

in Baghdad. What are the odds of that, statistically?

WILL

We’re both reporters so it’s not that remarkable.

EDWARD

Lord, Will. I would hate to see the rainbows in your world. Bet

they’re all-shades of gray.

WILL

It’s just, the baby, I don’t want to jinx it.

(EDWARD tosses another stone. We

hear it skip across the water.)

EDWARD

(re: stone)

Relax, Will. That’s seven. Everything’s gonna be fine.

WILL

Promise me you won’t say anything. And what we talked about

earlier: no stories. No toasts.

EDWARD

C’mon. When have I ever embarrassed you?

(off WILL’s reaction)

Fine. I’m not good around orchestras. But I really thought I

could play that violin. It doesn’t look that hard.

(SANDRA enters wearing a beautiful dress)

SANDRA

Honey, get dressed.

EDWARD

Will was holding me up! Look at you. Give me a kiss.

SANDRA

I just did my face. Go put on clothes.

Act 1 - Scene 4

(As EDWARD exits, he spots a man

carrying a violin case)

EDWARD

Oh, hey! Is that a violin? Let me see that.

SANDRA

(to WILL)

Are you nervous?

WILL

No. Yes. Mom, about Dad...I know you can’t control him...

SANDRA

I could just as easily control the weather.

WILL

Dad is like the weather. I can predict him, sort of, but I

fundamentally don’t understand him. I don’t get him. He’s this

baffling hurricane.

SANDRA

If you’re going to worry about anyone, worry about your poor

mother. Abandoning me for a woman on television.

WILL

You love Josephine.

SANDRA

I do. We turn on the cable news sometimes just to watch her.

She’s smart and pretty and kind. But you’re my little Alabama

lamb, all the way up there in New York.

(then)

You want to practice one more time?

WILL

Absolutely.

#4 ALABAMA WEDDING

(takes her hand, a box step)

Forward, together, side, together. Back, together...

SANDRA

Not out loud, Will.

Act 1 - Scene 4

WILL

Right.

SANDRA

Better! That’s it.

[MUSIC SEGUES]

Act 1 - Scene 4

SCENE 5

WEDDING RECEPTION AT THE WATER’S EDGE

(Lights shift as WEDDING DANCERS sweep in--

WILL begins dancing with his new bride,

JOSEPHINE. Her wedding gown is stunning.)

EDWARD

Son, let me help you out there.

(EDWARD cuts in, sweeping JOSEPHINE

off her feet. He’s quite the dancer. As they

finish...)

EDWARD

See, Will! That’s how you do it.

(WILL checks that JOSEPHINE is alright --

she is. They greet the crowd.)

WILL

Thank you all so much for coming. Josephine and I are

unbelievably grateful to have so many friends here to help us

celebrate.

JOSEPHINE

For people who don’t know, this is actually where Will proposed

to me. One year ago, right here on the banks of this river. I

had just met Edward and Sandra, and I knew -- I knew – that I

wanted to be part of this family.

(Some coos as JOSEPHINE and WILL kiss)

WILL

So before we get to dinner, we have a couple of things to...

(EDWARD interrupts)

EDWARD

Yes, good evenin’! My name is Edward Bloom. On behalf of me and

my wife Sandra -- she’s the gorgeous one right there -- it is a

pleasure to welcome y’all to Alabama!

(noticing WILL’s objection)

Act 1 - Scene 5

EDWARD (CON’T)

Will told me I was not allowed to give a toast. You’ll notice

there is no glass in my hand.

WILL

Technicality.

EDWARD

Technicality, he says!

(WILL and JOSEPHINE yield the floor to him)

EDWARD

Will thinks I talk too much -- but I would have loved to have a

talkative father. My own Daddy, he was a farmer. Lucky to get

four words outta him. But one day -- one day I heard him out in

the field, just blathering at length. Said he couldn’t get a

word in between me and my mother, but the corn -- the corn was

all ears.

(THE CROWD laughs. Some groans.)

EDWARD

(to WAITER)

Oh, hey, back up here.

(He snags a glass of champagne from the

WAITER)

EDWARD

On the topic of fatherhood, I have an announcement. After

careful consideration, I have decided to become a grandfather.

WILL

Dad!

EDWARD

Now, I’m sworn to secrecy, but I’m told my ambition may be

fulfilled sooner than I dared hope.

(a silent beat)

(All eyes on WILL and JOSEPHINE. A look

between them. Finally, JOSEPHINE makes the

save--)

Act 1 - Scene 5

JOSEPHINE

Okay. Okay. It’s time to catch the bouquet. Ladies, follow me.

(JOSEPHINE leads the women s the exit. WILL

joins his mother, explaining and

apologizing, sotto. EDWARD approaches--)

EDWARD

C’mon, Will. It’s good news!

WILL

(moving downstage)

It’s too early. A thousand things could go wrong.

EDWARD

They won’t! Why are you such a pessimist?

WILL

I’m a realist, Dad. And yes, it’s good news. But it’s our news.

Why do you have to make everything about you?

EDWARD

I’m excited! I got carried away.

WILL

You always get carried away. I’m sick of it.

EDWARD

I’m sick of you treating me like a child! What kind of son

doesn’t let his father give a toast at his wedding?

WILL

(overlapping)

The son whose father does this.

EDWARD

Grow up, Will.

WILL

I did! You weren’t there. You were never there.

(SANDRA tries to intervene)

SANDRA

Calm down.

EDWARD

I was building a business!

Act 1 - Scene 5

WILL

You were running away.

EDWARD

From what, from you?

WILL

From reality. All I got from you is a bunch of crazy stories

about how awesome you are and I’m sorry Dad, that’s not the man

I see.

EDWARD

Maybe you never bothered lookin’.

SANDRA

Stop it! Both of you. Before you say something you can’t take

back.

WILL

I’m done.

EDWARD

So am I.

(WILL exits. SANDRA follows him.

After a beat, EDWARD adjusts himself--

another pain in his side. DOCTOR BENNETT

approaches.)

DR. BENNETT

You alright?

EDWARD

That boy is bull-headed. I don’t know where he gets it.

DR. BENNETT

Askin’ about you.

(re: his side)

What’s going on there?

EDWARD

Put your stethoscope away, Doc. I’m fine.

DR. BENNETT

How long’s this been going on?

Act 1 - Scene 5

EDWARD

I dunno. A while. It’s nothing.

DR. BENNETT

You lost weight.

EDWARD

Exercise! What, you didn’t see me dancing? I’m fine.

DR. BENNETT

I’m sure you are. But come in Monday, and we’ll be doubly-sure.

#4A JUST TAKE ANOTHER LOOK

Act 1 - Scene 5

SCENE 6

TWO DIFFERENT DOCTORS’ OFFICES

(JOSEPHINE reclines on an examination table

for an ultrasound conducted by a NEW YORK

DOCTOR. Holding JOSEPHINE’s hand, WILL

stares in frustration at a screen. Somewhere

in there is a fetus.)

JOSEPHINE

JUST TAKE ANOTHER LOOK

WILL

I’m trying!

JOSEPHINE

IT’S JUST OFF TO THE RIGHT

WILL

My right or its right?

JOSEPHINE

A LITTLE BIT OF PATIENCE, WILL

(to THE DOCTOR)

NOW HOLD IT STILL

AND THERE, VOILÀ!

WITH LIGHT!

WILL

A penis! It’s a boy!

JOSEPHINE

Yes!

WILL

We’re having a son.

(Lights rise on another part of the stage,

where DR. BENNETT enters, followed by EDWARD

and SANDRA. DR. BENNETT reviews lab

results.)

EDWARD

If it’s bad news, just tell me.

DR. BENNETT

It’s not what we want to see.

Act 1 - Scene 6

SANDRA

The tumor didn’t shrink?

DR. BENNETT

No. It’s spread beyond where we thought.

SANDRA

But that doesn’t mean...

EDWARD

‘Course it doesn’t honey. I just have ambitious cancer is all.

Right, Doc?

DR. BENNETT

Exactly.

SANDRA

We’ll keep going though, right? Or try

something new.

DR. BENNETT

There’s a conversation to have about what’s next.

(SANDRA starts to tear up. Seeing

this, EDWARD takes her hand.)

EDWARD

Now, Sandra...

SANDRA

I need to call Will. We never should have kept this from him.

EDWARD

Fine. But you needn’t worry him.

(SANDRA exits)

DR. BENNETT

Will doesn’t know about any of this?

EDWARD

He’s got his own life up in New York. No sense bothering him.

(Lights shift back to WILL and JOSEPHINE)

Act 1 - Scene 6

WILL

(re: her belly)

This is really happening.

JOSEPHINE

(playful)

You thought I was making it up?

WILL

No.

JOSEPHINE

I’ll get dressed.

WILL

Meet you outside.

(JOSEPHINE gets up. One last thought--)

JOSEPHINE

Will -- we’re going to have a son.

WILL

I know!

(alone for a moment)

WILL

A son.

#5 STRANGER

STRANGER

I’M FEELING STRANGER THAN I’VE EVER FELT BEFORE

AND SO MUCH MORE

DIFFERENT

LIKE SOMETHING OLD HAS JOINED WITH SOMETHING NEW

BUT STILL FEELS TRUE

I’M PASSING THROUGH A RITE THAT EVERY PARENT DOES

I’M WALKING ON SOME SHARED FAMILIAR GROUND

YET EVERY STEP I TAKE IS NOT A STEP THAT WAS

AND I’VE FOUND, I LIKE THE SOUND

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

(WILL shifts as we arrive at--)

Act 1 - Scene 6

SCENE 7

NEW YORK CITY / CENTRAL PARK

(Skyscrapers in the distance. New Yorkers go

about their day. A boy walks past with his

father.)

WILL (CON’T)

OF STRANGER

A CHILD I’VE YET TO MEET BECOMES MY EVERYTHING

MY SONG TO SING

FATHER

AND SUDDENLY THE WEIGHT OF IT IS REAL

WHAT DO I FEEL?

I FEEL CONNECTED IN A WAY I’VE NEVER KNOWN

A LINE FROM DAD TO ME TO NEW-BORN SON

SO FROM TODAY I’LL NEVER MAKE A CHOICE ALONE

ONE FOR ALL

ALL FOR ONE

AND WHEN HE’S BORN

I'LL TEACH HIM HOW TO USE HIS COMMON SENSE

HE'LL LISTEN AND HE'LL LEARN AND HE'LL EXCEL

I’LL TELL MY SON

THAT LIFE IS LIVED IN CLEAR AND PRESENT TENSE

NOT ONLY IN THE STORIES WE CAN TELL

MY FATHER TOLD ME STORIES

I COULD NEVER COMPREHEND

IN EVERY TALE HE’D CLAIM TO BE THE HERO

I’VE TRIED TO UNDERSTAND HIM

BUT I WONDER IF I CAN

BECAUSE AFTER ALMOST THIRTY YEARS

I STILL DON’T KNOW THE MAN

I WISH I KNEW THE MAN

BUT HE’S A STRANGER

MY FATHER IS A STRANGER I KNOW VERY WELL

A PUZZLING SHELL

HOPEFUL

WHAT’S ON ITS WAY MAY HELP US BOTH TO GROW

BUT I DON’T KNOW

Act 1 - Scene 7

WILL (CON’T)

I DON’T KNOW WHEN I’LL UNDERSTAND WHAT MADE HIM WILD

I DON’T KNOW WHY HE HAS THE URGE TO FLY

I WANT TO FACE HIM LIKE A MAN AND NOT A CHILD

SO I’LL TRY

I’LL REALLY TRY

AND IN TIME, MY BOY IS SURE TO SEE

BRIGHTER DAYS FOR DAD AND ME

WE CAN DO THINGS BETTER THAN BEFORE

SO THAT STRANGERS WE WILL BE NO MORE

(WILL’s phone rings. He checks the

number and answers)

#5A PHONE CALL

WILL

Mom! I was just about to call you. What’s...what’s wrong? Mom?

(hearing the news)

I’m coming home. We’ll be on the next flight.

[MUSIC SEGUES]

(WILL exits)

Act 1 - Scene 7

SCENE 8

GARAGE—NIGHT

#5B AFTER STRANGER

(EDWARD’s desk and file cabinet are buried

under mounds of file boxes. SANDRA enters,

speaking to offstage WILL.)

SANDRA

I wanted to tell you right away, but your father didn’t want

anyone to know he was sick. How dare anyone think Edward Bloom

is mortal.

(WILL enters with a bucket. SANDRA folds

towels.)

SANDRA (CON’T)

The treatment was a longshot. But your father was convinced it

would work.

WILL

What does Dr. Bennett say?

SANDRA

He says comforting things. But we all know where this is headed.

WILL

I’m so sorry, Mom. I want to do something. How can I help?

SANDRA

I’m just glad you know. Family shouldn’t have secrets.

WILL

Mom, have you and Dad talked about money?

SANDRA

We have plenty of money.

WILL

Is the house paid off?

SANDRA

Years ago. The day we sent in the last check, we had champagne.

Your father opened it with a sword.

(demonstrates)

Act 1 - Scene 8

SANDRA (CON’T)

There was glass in the carpet for weeks.

WILL

(re: files and boxes)

Mom, you won’t mind if I look for the mortgage? The insurance...

(off her reaction)

I’m worried about you, about what’s going to happen. We have to

keep a roof over your head.

SANDRA

I am not worried about the house. I’m not worried about me --

I’m worried about you.

WILL

I’m fine, Mom. I’ll be fine, you don’t...

SANDRA

Oh, “I’m fine.” You sound like your father.

#6 TWO MEN IN MY LIFE

You are the two most stubborn men on Earth, and it is my curse

that I love you both.

THERE ARE TWO MEN IN MY LIFE

HIM AND YOU

THERE ARE TWO MEN WHO’LL BE SPEAKING WHEN I’M THROUGH

THERE ARE FEW MEN LIKE YOUR DAD

NOT EASY TO DEFINE

I KNOW HE ISN’T PERFECT

BUT HE’S MINE

(They exit the garage, which moves offstage.

WILL sets up chairs.)

THERE ARE TWO MEN IN MY LIFE

HIM AND YOU

AND I NEVER WANT TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE TWO

HE DISTORTS AND HE INVENTS

SOME STORIES DON’T MAKE SENSE

BUT WHY SHOULD THAT CONFUSE YOU

WHY NOT LET THE MAN AMUSE YOU—

(EDWARD and JOSEPHINE enter. She’s laughing.

A title card: “THE GIRL IN THE WATER”)

Act 1 - Scene 8

EDWARD

I was always a good swimmer -- people said I was born for the

water. Plus I had a helluva teacher.

(A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN sits in the river. A tail

lifts up. EDWARD continues his story, sotto,

as THE MERMAID swims.)

SANDRA

HE TELLS A HARMLESS TALE

THAT ALWAYS DRIVES YOU MAD

BUT AREN’T YOU TELLING STORIES TOO

YOUR POINT OF VIEW

JUST DIFFERENT FROM YOUR DAD

EDWARD

This girl, she couldn’t speak a word. But it was clear she was

under some kind of curse.

SANDRA

THERE ARE TWO MEN IN MY LIFE

HIM AND YOU

AND THE STORIES I BELIEVE IN ALL COME TRUE

HE CAN GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED

BUT YOU SHOULD TAKE THE LEAD

THERE IS MAGIC IN THE MAN

PLEASE FIND IT WHILE YOU CAN

EDWARD

(to JOSEPHINE)

Only way to lift the spell...was with a kiss.

(EDWARD kneels to kiss THE MERMAID, but

before he can—)

WILL

(worried)

Dad?!

(THE MERMAID gets spooked and disappears

beneath the water)

EDWARD

Will.

Act 1 - Scene 8

(EDWARD has a hard time getting back up.

WILL tries to help him, but EDWARD won’t

have it.)

EDWARD (CON’T)

I’m fine! You don’t need to baby me.

WILL

Sorry.

EDWARD

People needn’t worry so much. It’s not my time yet. This isn’t

how I go.

WILL

Right. The Witch.

JOSEPHINE

The Witch?

WILL

There was a woman in the swamp who told him how he died.

EDWARD

She showed me how I go, and this is not it.

JOSEPHINE

So how does it happen?

EDWARD

Surprise ending -- wouldn’t want to ruin it for ya.

(to WILL)

And you! Well, forget the life you know, because having a kid

changes everything. I mean, there’s the diapers and the burping

and the midnight feedings...

WILL

(to SANDRA)

Did he do any of that?

EDWARD

No, but I hear it’s terrible. Just awful.

SANDRA

(checking her watch)

Well, I should probably get dinner started.

Act 1 - Scene 8

EDWARD AND WILL

I can help.

SANDRA

No, no. You stay out here and talk.

(SANDRA and EDWARD fuss, but he relents.

SANDRA exits.)

EDWARD

Oh hey, you come sit with me.

(EDWARD and JOSEPHINE sit in the lawn

chairs)

WILL

So Dad, I can probably get the pump working if you wanted to

swim.

EDWARD

Don’t put yourself out.

WILL

It’s fine.

EDWARD

You know where the chemicals are?

WILL

I used to do it when you were gone, remember?

EDWARD

(prickly)

I was a traveling salesman, Will. I couldn't exactly stay at

home.

WILL

I wasn’t trying to pick a fight.

JOSEPHINE

Oh! Here. You can feel him kick.

(JOSEPHINE puts EDWARD’s hand on her belly.

He smiles.)

EDWARD

He’s strong! When is he coming?

Act 1 - Scene 8

JOSEPHINE

Twenty-two weeks. So--

WILL

Five months.

EDWARD

Five months. Well. You’ll tell him about me. Only the good

stuff.

JOSEPHINE

Of course.

(A crack in his facade – his mortality

suddenly feels very real. WILL and JOSEPHINE

both clock this.)

WILL

Yeah, Dad, I’d really love to know more about the real versions

of events, stories, you. Maybe we can go over some things while

I’m here.

EDWARD

You mean while I’m here.

(an awkward moment)

JOSEPHINE

So, I want to know the full history. Now, I know you grew up in

Alabama, but was it here in Montgomery?

EDWARD

Not too far away. A tiny little place called Ashton. Our town

was so small our phone book was the Yellow Page.

(topping it)

Our town was so small the zip code was a fraction.

(topping it)

Our town was so small we only had three jokes.

(he stands)

But I’ll tell you: the best thing about growing up in a small

town like Ashton -- a boy with ambition can be a pretty big

deal.

Act 1 - Scene 8

#7 ASHTON’S FAVORITE SON

(Montage begins showing EDWARD in high

school--WILL and JOSEPHINE remain on stage.)

TOWNSFOLK

EDWARD BLOOM

YOU’RE ASHTON’S FAVORITE SON

YES YOU ARE!

(He swings the bat -- CRACK – and hits a

home run. He is awarded a giant trophy.)

EDWARD BLOOM

JUST LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE

SUPERSTAR!

HERO OF THE BASEBALL DIAMOND

HITS A HOME RUN

CHAMPION OF THE SCIENCE FAIR

(At a science fair lab table, EDWARD

demonstrates his experiment. He receives an

A+.)

HE’S “A-NUMBER ONE!”

(EDWARD stands on his school desk,

surrounded by supporters holding signs for

his campaign for STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT.)

CAPTAIN OF THE STUDENT COUNCIL

WINS THE DEBATE

ALWAYS KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY

(Signs flip—“WINNER!”)

(EDWARD becomes a football player)

FOOTBALL HERO, TOO

LOOK WHAT HE CAN DO

ASHTON’S FAVORITE SON IN EVERY WAY

(EDWARD kicks a football. REFEREES lift

their hands -- he’s kicked the winning field

goal.)

Act 1 - Scene 8

(Final transformation as EDWARD links arms

with JENNY HILL, his date for prom. Each

wears a sash and a crown: PROM KING AND

QUEEN. They start to dance.)

JENNY HILL

HE’S THE MAN I TREASURE

HE’S THE MAN I’LL WED

THOUGH HE DOESN’T KNOW IT YET

HE’LL BE WITH ME UNTIL WE’RE DEAD

JENNY HILL NO MORE WILL BE MY NAME

AND I’VE HANDSOME EDWARD BLOOM TO BLAME!

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

(The set changes as a group of CHEERLEADERS

bring us to--)

Act 1 - Scene 8

SCENE 9

ASHTON TOWN SQUARE

CHEERLEADERS

EDWARD! EDWARD!

GO EDWARD!

EDWARD BLOOM

OUR FAVORITE SON!!!!!

(As TOWNSFOLK exit, JENNY approaches.)

JENNY HILL

Edward Bloom, do you love me like I love you?

EDWARD

Of course not.

JENNY HILL

You don’t?

(EDWARD hops down, following JENNY

downstage)

EDWARD

Jenny Hill, you are the prettiest--

(she coos)

Smartest--

(she coos more)

And blondest girl in Ashton.

(she coos the most)

How I could love you like you love me when you are an angel and

I am just a simple boy in love.

JENNY HILL

(melting)

Nothing will ever come between us.

(a chaste kiss)

(Suddenly, a CROWD OF TOWNSFOLK pushes

through. The town’s MAYOR tries to control

the growing mob.)

MAYOR

Now, calm down. Calm down!

Act 1 - Scene 9

SCHOOLTEACHER

Mayor, there is a giant living in them hills.

SHARECROPPER

I seen him! He’s ten feet tall, with crazy eyes of fire!

LITTLE GIRL WITH ORANGE CAT

He might eat my cat!

HOT-BLOODED SHOTGUN TOTER

If you ain’t gonna stop him Mayor, we will!

MAYOR

I won’t have mob violence in this town. Not without a permit.

DON PRICE

(holding up baseball bat)

I got your permit right here! We gotta smash that giant before

he smashes us.

CROWD

(various)

Yeah!/Absolutely!/He’s right!/Uh-huh!

DON PRICE

Alright: we need torches and pitchforks.

EDWARD

Wait, wait! Has someone tried talking to this giant?

BARBER

You can’t reason with ‘im!

SHEPHERD

He’s a monster!

EDWARD

I’ll do it! I’ll talk to him. See if I can get him to move on.

DON PRICE

Edward Bloom.

EDWARD

Don Price.

Act 1 - Scene 9

DON PRICE

You wanna sweet-talk a giant, go ahead, Bloom. It’s your

funeral.

EDWARD

That’s just it, Don. The witch showed me how my life ends. It

don’t happen like this.

#7A EDWARD WALKS

Bye, Jenny!

(As EDWARD walks, the town and TOWNSFOLK

recede; bringing us to--)

Act 1 - Scene 9

SCENE 10

FANTASTICAL FOREST

(A title card: —“THE GIANT.”)

(Reaching the entrance to a cave --)

EDWARD

Hello? Hello!

(bats fly out!)

My name is Edward Bloom, and I want to talk to you!

(A deep rumbling voice, seeming to

come from all around)

THE GIANT

Go away!

EDWARD

I will not! Not until you show yourself. Come on out here, and

face me like a man!

THE GIANT

I said GO AWAY!

EDWARD

Fine! I’m coming in.

(EDWARD enters)

Act 1 - Scene 10

SCENE 11

THE CAVE

(Wet and dripping. Empty but for a pile of

rubble center stage. EDWARD looks for shapes

in the darkness.)

EDWARD

Just like I thought. Only kinda giant you are is a giant coward.

(The cave shudders. EDWARD thinks it’s an

earthquake. KARL THE GIANT enters from

behind the rubble. EDWARD looks up to see

KARL towering over him.)

KARL

I will smash your bones and eat you for dinner!

EDWARD

You’ll still be hungry. I’m more of an appetizer size.

(offering hand)

Edward Bloom...

KARL

(knocks hand away)

Get out of my cave!

EDWARD

No. I came up here to talk to you.

KARL

I don’t want to talk! I just want to be alone.

(KARL moves downstage)

EDWARD

Bullcrap. You are alone, so you’re only pretendin’ it’s what you

want. Under those dead animals and death threats, I see a guy

who might need a friend.

KARL

You don’t know me.

Act 1 - Scene 11

EDWARD

Sure I do! See, up ‘til now I’ve been the biggest thing in

Ashton. But you showin’ up is a reminder: there’s something

bigger out there.

KARL

So go.

EDWARD

Come with me.

(off KARL’s reaction)

Look, this town is too small for you, and it’s too small for a

man of my ambition.

(smelling KARL)

When was the last time you left this cave?

KARL

I’m agoraphobic.

EDWARD

I don’t know what that means, but you gotta get outside.

KARL

(a laugh)

You’re not very bright.

EDWARD

Well, how smart are you?

KARL

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.

EDWARD

Whoa! That’s deep. Wow.

KARL

There’s nothing for me out there. I don’t fit in! I’ve never

even been in a car.

EDWARD

You got those big legs! So walk.

KARL

I can’t fit in a house.

EDWARD

We’ll sleep under the sky!

Act 1 - Scene 11

KARL

(sheepish)

I’ll never find a girl.

EDWARD

Giant -- this is the South! We like our women big and beautiful.

KARL

But I—

#8 OUT THERE ON THE ROAD

EDWARD

YOU CAN PINE YOUR LIFE AWAY

WISHIN’ THINGS WERE BETTER

WAITIN’ HERE FOR JUDGEMENT DAY

WHILE KNITTIN’ YOU A SWEATER

BUT I BELIEVE THAT KIND OF LIFE

WON’T SET YOUR SPIRIT FREE

SO MY FRIEND, ONE SMALL SUGGESTION

WHERE YOU OUGHTTA BE…

WE CAN TAKE A JOURNEY

THROUGH THIS COUNTRY’S FLESH AND BLOOD

ON A RIDE PAST COUNTRYSIDE

AND MISSISSIPPI MUD

HIT THE STREET WITH TWO BIG FEET

TO BEAR YOUR HEAVY LOAD

AND LIVE LIFE OUT THERE ON THE ROAD

ANYONE WE WANNA BE

AND ANYTHING WE SAY

COME TOMORROW WE’LL BE FREE

OF WHO WE ARE TODAY

ACTION AND ADVENTURE

WHEN WE CHANGE OUR FIXED ABODE

GO LIVE LIFE OUT THERE ON THE ROAD

(EDWARD gets THE GIANT to dance a few steps

back, closer to the entrance of the cave.)

EDWARD (CON’T)

WOULDN’T YOU RATHER BE

LIKE ROYALTY

RESPECTED LIKE A KING

WHERE IT’S ALL CIVILIZED

YOU’LL BE SURPRISED

Act 1 - Scene 11

EDWARD (CON’T)

THE SONG YOU’LL HEAR ‘EM SING

PEOPLE’LL GREET YOU THERE

SOME WANNA SHARE

ENTHUSIASTIC NEWS

AND ALL YOU NEED IS GUARANTEED

WITH ONE BIG PAIR OF SHOES

ONE BIG PAIR OF SHOES!

What’s your name, giant?

KARL

Karl.

EDWARD

Listen, Karl. The world is huge!

KARL

One hundred and ninety-seven million square miles.

Approximately.

EDWARD

Say, you’re good with numbers.

KARL

Only big ones.

EDWARD

Well, naturally! Now c’mon! Let’s get out of this cave!

DON’T YOU WANNA

STEP OUTSIDE

LOOK AROUND

SEE WHAT’S WAITING THERE!

(EDWARD leads the way out of the cave.

As KARL EXITS -- squinting in the sunlight -

- the set changes to exterior.)

WE WERE BORN TO WAKE EACH MORN

SOME PLACE WE’VE NEVER BEEN

CHECKIN’ OUT THE LOCALS

AS THEY WATCH US CHECKIN’ IN

EVERY NEW ENCOUNTER

IN ANOTHER NEW ZIP CODE

WE’LL FIND IT OUT THERE –

Act 1 - Scene 11

(The TOWNSFOLK arrive with pitchforks and

rifles)

TOWNSFOLK

THAT’S HIM, RIGHT THERE!

EDWARD

WAIT! HE’S NOT A MONSTER

HE’S A THINKER

HE’S A WHIZ

THIS BOY ISN’T HALF AS BAD

AS YOU ALL THINK HE IS

Karl, tell ‘em a joke.

KARL

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a

rhino?

(beat)

Helephino!

(TOWNSFOLK laugh)

EDWARD

I’VE BEEN SO INSPIRED

I’VE DECIDED WE’RE A PAIR

EDWARD AND KARL

WE’RE HEADING OUT THERE ON THE ROAD

DON PRICE

Yes!

JENNY HILL

You’re leaving? Now?!

EDWARD

Jenny, I can’t imagine any place better than Ashton. But if I

don’t see the world, I’ll never know.

JENNY HILL

EDWARD BLOOM

DON’T TELL ME THAT YOU’RE LEAVING US FOR GOOD

Act 1 - Scene 11

EDWARD

JENNY, YES I’M LEAVING

BUT “FOR GOOD” I NEVER COULD

I’LL BE BACK SOME DAY

JENNY

AND I’LL BE WAITING WHILE YOU’RE GONE

(A chaste kiss between JENNY and EDWARD)

TOWNSFOLK

‘TIL THEN, BE HAPPY ON THE ROAD

EDWARD

C’mon, Karl! Let’s show ‘em our traveling step!

(demonstrates, to the crowd)

Every road trip needs a traveling step.

(EDWARD and KARL teach the town their

traveling step. Soon everyone joins in the

dancing celebration.)

MAYOR

Edward Bloom, first son of Ashton, take with you this Key to the

City, and know our doors will always be open to you.

(THE MAYOR gives EDWARD a giant key)

EDWARD

I swear on my name I’ll never forget Ashton. I’ll come back, I

promise.

SUDDENLY, I’M THE KING

WHO HOLDS THE KEY

BUT EVERYBODY SECRETLY

IS DYING TO BE MORE AND MORE LIKE WHO?

KARL

Like you?

ALL BUT KARL

LIKE YOU!

Act 1 - Scene 11

EDWARD, KARL AND ALL

I CAN SEE AMERICA

DEPENDABLE AND TRUE

OPEN SKY AND PASSERSBY

CONGRATULATING YOU

FIND THE OPEN HIGHWAY

AND YOU’VE HIT THE MOTHER LODE

GO CRAZY

EDWARD, KARL AND MEN

OUT THERE ON THE

EDWARD, KARL AND ALL

HAPPY!

OUT THERE ON THE

FINALLY OUT THERE

JENNY

PROMISE YOU’LL RETURN TO US!

EDWARD, KARL AND ALL

ON THE ROAD!!

(The TOWNSFOLK march EDWARD and KARL out of

town)

TOWNSFOLK

ON THE ROAD!!

#8A WILL AND JOSEPHINE

(Crossover--WILL rolls in a stack of file

boxes. JOSEPHINE catches up with him,

carrying a giant key.)

JOSEPHINE

Will! Look what I found.

WILL

What is that?

JOSEPHINE

It’s the Key to the City! From when he was a teenager. He left

Ashton in search of adventure.

WILL

Oh, God. He got to you, didn’t he? He seduced you.

Act 1 - Scene 11

JOSEPHINE

Do you know how your mother and father met?

WILL

They met in college. Wait -- which story did he tell you? There

are at least seven versions of how he met my mother.

JOSEPHINE

This was romantic.

WILL

They’re all romantic. My father is romantic. Was the giant in

it?

JOSEPHINE

Yes! Karl.

#8B THE TORNADO

(Reveal KARL and EDWARD. After a beat, they

go dark.)

WILL

So, Karl the Giant. Supposedly my Dad’s best friend, but I never

met him. There’s no photo, no evidence he actually existed. I’m

worried my father is going to--

(not saying “die”)

--be gone and I’ll never know what was true.

JOSEPHINE

But does it really matter what was true? Your father is telling

these stories for a reason. If you understand the stories,

you’ll understand the man.

(beat)

How many stories are there?

WILL

I don’t know. I’ve never counted.

JOSEPHINE

You should! You should make a list.

Act 1 - Scene 11

WILL

(considers, then...)

Okay. Let’s do it. Chronologically, it starts with the Witch.

She teaches him, what, not to fear death? Then he meets the

mermaid.

JOSEPHINE

She teaches him about love. How love transforms a person.

WILL

I thought she taught him how to swim.

JOSEPHINE

You never listen.

WILL

So my father leaves Ashton with Karl the Giant. They have a

series of wacky misadventures that roughly approximate the

twelve labors of Hercules --

JOSEPHINE

What about the tornado --

WILL

Fine, the tornado.

(He swirls his hand. As he does,

TOWNSFOLK blow across stage. A ttle

card: “THE TORNADO.” EDWARD and KARL exit

as a cat flies across stage with howl.)

WILL

It’s not important.

JOSEPHINE

It’s incredibly important! Your father was headed for the Big

City.

(suddenly teary)

But then fate -- fate pushes him towards love.

WILL

You have a lot of hormones in your body right now.

(she nods, a bit overcome)

Fine--the Winds of Destiny bring him to the Calloway Circus.

#8C CALLOWAY CIRCUS

Act 1 - Scene 11

SCENE 12

THE CALLOWAY CIRCUS

(On a platform outside the bigtop, a

juggling act finishes its set. AMOS CALLOWAY

arrives center-ring.)

AMOS

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Any one of these acts could join the

Calloway Circus!

(a juggler’s ball falls at his feet)

AMOS (CON’T)

Except you! C’mere.

(JUGGLER approaches)

If I was lookin’ for a Miscellaneous Object Dropper, you’d be at

the top of my list. But I’m not. Next up #73--

(checking clipboard)

--the Alabama Lambs.

(TEENAGE SANDRA rushes forward with her two

FRIENDS. They’re dressed in the traditional

garb of some undiscovered European country.)

SANDRA

That’s us! We’re the Alabama Lambs!

(WILL and JOSEPHINE take a seat to watch)

AMOS

(recognizes her, disapproving)

Miss Templeton! Does your daddy know you’re here?

SANDRA

He knows I’m with my two best friends.

AMOS

Tell me, your father -- is he still a small town sheriff with

unmedicated rage issues?

SANDRA

That’s Dad!

Act 1 - Scene 12

AMOS

Best you get along home and breathe not a word of this folly.

SANDRA

Wait, Mr. Calloway, I am supposed to be here, I know it.

AMOS

And I know I don’t want to be hangin’ on your Daddy’s wall like

this.

(terrified expression; checking clipboard)

Next up, #74--Zaximus the Zensational.

SANDRA

Haven’t you ever had a dream, a hope, a wish! Please, Mr.

Calloway! Just let us try!

AMOS

Fine. Let’s hear it.

(SANDRA cues the music. Their song and dance

is exuberant, goofy, and occasionally

dirtier than they meant it to be.)

#9 LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

SANDRA AND TWO GIRLS

SHIM-SHAM

I’M A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

FLIM-FLAM

I’M A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

WAITIN’ TO BE FED

HOPIN’ TO BE LED

BY A LITTLE SHEPHERD BOY FROM

GIRL ONE

M-I-S-S

GIRL TWO

I-S-S-I

SANDRA

P-P-

(THE TWO GIRLS gasp!)

Act 1 - Scene 12

SANDRA AND TWO GIRLS

I WHAM! BAM!

LIKE A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

HOT DAMN

WHO’S A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA?

I’M A LITTLE MISS

PRAYIN’ FOR A KISS

JUST A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

(They dance. As they do, EDWARD arrives at

the edge of the crowd.)

SANDRA AND TWO GIRLS

JUST A LITTLE LAMB FROM ALABAMA

(As EDWARD spots SANDRA, everything slows to

a fraction of normal speed. He is completely

entranced.)

#10 TIME STOPS

EDWARD

TIME STOPS

WHEN SUDDENLY YOU SEE HER

TIME STOPS

AND WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW

CHANGES

AND LIFE BEYOND THIS MOMENT

IS BETTER

BIGGER

TIME STOPS

BUT STILL YOUR HEART IS BEATING

TIME STOPS

THOUGH YOU DON’T TAKE A BREATH

SHE’S THERE

AND ALL YOU’VE EVER WANTED

IS NEARER

CLEARER

I USED TO THINK THE WORLD WAS SMALL

NOW I DON’T THINK THAT WAY AT ALL

Act 1 - Scene 12

EDWARD (CON’T)

TIME STOPS

WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE BEFORE YOU

TIME STOPS

WHEN FANTASY IS REAL

I KNEW

THIS MOMENT WAS EXPECTED

BUT THIS GOOD

WHO COULD?

(SANDRA spots EDWARD. She loses her

place in the routine.)

SANDRA

THAT BOY IS STARING

AND I FEEL A CHILL

I DON’T KNOW WHY

THAT BOY IS STARING

AND THE WORLD IS STILL

NOT TUMBLING BY

THERE’S NO ONE TALKING

BUT I CAN HEAR A THOUSAND VOICES

WHAT’S GOING ON INSIDE ME?

THAT BOY IS STARING

IS IT ME HE SEES?

I CAN’T BE SURE

IF HE IS STARING

SHOULD I TRY TO PLEASE

OR BE DEMURE?

MY HAND IS TREMBLING

BUT IN THIS MOMENT NOTHING SCARES ME

WHAT’S GOING ON?

(Everything freezes as SANDRA and EDWARD

slowly approach each other.)

EDWARD

I USED TO SEE WHAT LIES AHEAD

SANDRA

I THOUGHT MY LIFE MIGHT BE A BORE

EDWARD

NOW I JUST SEE THIS GIRL INSTEAD

Act 1 - Scene 12

SANDRA EDWARD

COULD BE I BOUND FOR SOMETHING

MORE TIME STOPS

EDWARD AND SANDRA

AND TROUBLES ARE ABANDONED

TIME STOPS

THE MINUTE HE/SHE ARRIVES

I’VE SEEN THE FUTURE IN THIS INSTANT

SUBVERSIVE

SUBLIME!

I’D LIVE FOREVER IN THIS MOMENT

IF I COULD STOP

(face to face)

EDWARD

STOP TIME

(their hands nearly touch)

SANDRA

THAT BOY IS STARING AND I FEEL A CHILL

I DON’T KNOW WHY

(SANDRA rejoins THE DANCERS. As the moment

concludes, SANDRA snaps back to reality.

Time resumes normally.)

#10A ALABAMA TAG

AMOS

Ladies, I’ll tell you: That was terrific. But no one wants to

see that in a circus. Teach those steps to an elephant, and then

you’d have something. People want to see things beyond their

imagination! Bigger than life! People want--

(stops, pointing)

You!

(KARL THE GIANT enters behind EDWARD)

EDWARD

Hey, buddy.

(Panic as everyone flees from THE GIANT.

SANDRA’s friends pull her away.)

Act 1 - Scene 12

EDWARD

(chasing her offstage)

Wait! Wait!

(WILL and JOSEPHINE exit past KARL)

WILL

(re: KARL)

It’s not plausible.

JOSEPHINE

It’s romantic!

AMOS

(introducing himself)

Amos Calloway. What’s your name, Giant? You got a name? Doesn’t

matter. More exotic if you don’t.

KARL

It’s Karl.

AMOS

That works. Say, Karl, have you ever considered a career in the

world of entertainment? More importantly, have you ever heard of

this term -- wait, what is it? -- um -- “unconscionable

contract?”

KARL

It’s an agreement in which one party grossly misrepresents facts

in order to take advantage of the other party’s perceived

ignorance.

AMOS

Well. That’s a thorough definition.

KARL

I want thirty percent off the top and all the food I can eat.

AMOS

Ten percent.

KARL

Twenty -- and I won’t do nudity.

AMOS

No one’s asking!

Act 1 - Scene 12

KARL

Done.

(EDWARD returns, defeated)

KARL

Edward. What’s wrong?

EDWARD

Karl, I just saw the woman I’m going to marry, I know it. But

then I lost her.

AMOS

Heartbreaking! Most men gotta get married before they lose their

wives. But good news! I’m gonna make your friend here a star.

EDWARD

That’s great. ‘Least one of us should be happy.

AMOS

Jesus, kid. This girl -- real pretty? Blue dress? Red hair?

EDWARD

(grabs AMOS)

Who is she? Where does she live?

(AMOS snarls, then catches himself)

AMOS

Kid -- don’t waste your time. I know her daddy. She’s out of

your league.

EDWARD

What do you mean? You don’t even know me.

AMOS

Lemme guess: you were the Hero of Hickville, a big fish in a

small pond. This here is the ocean, and you’re drowning. Take my

advice and go back to Puddleville. You’ll be happy there.

EDWARD

Look, I may not have much, but I have more determination than

any man you’re ever going to meet. I’m gonna find that woman and

marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.

Act 1 - Scene 12

AMOS

Go write your Harlequin Romance somewhere else. I got a circus

to run.

#11 CLOSER TO HER

EDWARD

IF YOU TELL ME WHO SHE IS

I’LL WORK NIGHT AND DAY

AND YOU WON’T EVEN HAVE TO PAY ME

(Tri: “ding”)

AMOS

Okay.

ONCE A MONTH

IF YOU WORK

IF YOU SLAVE

IF YOU CRY FOR ME

THEN I’LL GIVE YOU A CLUE

ONCE A MONTH

IF YOU CLEAN

IF YOU HAUL

IF YOU DIE FOR ME

THEN THE CLUE WILL BE TRUE

ONCE A MONTH

IT COULD BE WHAT SHE THINKS

WHAT SHE LOVES

WHERE SHE LIVES

WHAT SHE DRINKS

WHAT SHE HOPES

AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PULL THE ROPES

(CIRCUS WORKERS rehearse. AMOS

gives EDWARD his first chore.)

AMOS

CLOSER TO HER

I’LL GET YOU CLOSER TO HER

YOU ONLY NEED TO BE

MY DEVOTEE BECAUSE

I’LL TELL YOU WHERE SHE WAS BORN

OR IF SHE PLAYS THE FRENCH HORN

THEN YOU’LL BE CLOSER THAN YOU EVER WAS

Act 1 - Scene 12

AMOS (CON’T)

First clue--She likes dancing.

EDWARD

Dancing!

(EDWARD dances with a dream vision

of SANDRA.)

AMOS

BACK TO WORK!

CIRCUS FOLK

CLOSER TO HER

YOU’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO HER

EDWARD

I’M NOT AFRAID TO STOOP

TO SCOOPING POOP BECAUSE

CIRCUS FOLK

HE’LL STOOP FOR POOP!

AMOS

YOU’LL LEARN WHAT PERFUME SHE WEARS

OR WHAT SHE SAYS IN HER PRAYERS

EDWARD

AND BE MUCH CLOSER THAN I EVER WAS

(A line of dancing elephant butts do a

little dance. AMOS watches from stage left,

proud of his elephants.)

EDWARD

Mr. Calloway, it’s time.

AMOS

For what?

EDWARD

My clue! About the girl I’m gonna marry.

AMOS

If you got a clue, you wouldn’t get married at all.

(to the CIRCUS FOLK)

BACK TO WORK!

Act 1 - Scene 12

CIRCUS FOLK

DAYS INTO WEEKS INTO MONTHS INTO YEARS

INTO CLUE AFTER CLUE AFTER CLUE

AMOS

SHE LIKES BLUE!

(DREAM SANDRA passes with a blue scarf)

CIRCUS FOLK

SEASONS GO BY IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE

BUT THE DREAM DOESN’T SEEM TO COME TRUE

AMOS

BARBECUE!

(DREAM SANDRA eats barbecue as she passes)

EDWARD

YEAR AFTER YEAR

WITH THE HOPE I WOULD HEAR

SOMETHING KIND

SOMETHING FRESH

SOMETHING NEW –

(finding AMOS)

Mr. Calloway, it’s been three years!

AMOS

Kid! There’s other fish in the sea!

EDWARD

But I’m already hooked. Why do you insist keeping her name

secret?

AMOS

SECRETS ARE THE BACKBONE OF SOCIETY

EVERYBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A FEW

I BELIEVE IN SECRETS

AND I’LL KEEP MINE FOR A WHILE

THEY KEEP ME A SUCCESS

THEY MAKE YOU WORK FOR LESS

But I’m a man of my word. Your girl -- she’s going to college.

EDWARD

College!

Act 1 - Scene 12

EDWARD CIRCUS FOLK

CLOSER TO HER

ONE TEXTBOOK CLOSER TO HER

(DREAM SANDRA passes with a book)

CLOSER TO HER

BUT I’VE BUT YOU’VE

BEEN WORKING HARD BEEN WORKING HARD

AND TIME IS FLYING AND TIME IS FLYING

BY CLOSER TO HER

EDWARD

I’VE PAID HIS PRICE, I SHOULD GO

STILL, THERE’S ONE THING I DON’T KNOW—

(A “howl!” EDWARD reveals--)

EDWARD (CON’T)

Mr. Calloway?

(--a furry, clawed AMOS)

AMOS

This is...difficult to explain.

EDWARD

You’re a werewolf.

AMOS

Or maybe not so difficult.

EDWARD

Mr. Calloway, this is your secret? You don’t have to be ashamed

of being a werewolf.

AMOS

Really?

EDWARD

Heck no! Just be yourself and be happy.

(EDWARD scratches AMOS’s head)

AMOS

I like you, kid. How about a bonus clue? Daffodils!

Act 1 - Scene 12

EDWARD

Daffodils?

AMOS

Her favorite flower -- those yellow ones. Real pretty.

EDWARD

Mr. Calloway, let me give her those daffodils! Tell me who she

is!

(a chord of conscience)

AMOS

Hell. Her name is Sandra Templeton. She goes to Auburn

University.

EDWARD

Thank you, Mr. Calloway. Thank you!

(EDWARD drops a ball from his box;

AMOS chases it offstage)

AMOS

My ball! My ball! My ball!

(EDWARD finding KARL --)

EDWARD

Karl, how far away is Auburn University?

KARL

Seven hundred and sixty-three miles.

EDWARD

Then I’m gonna need your help.

KARL

Fellas, bring it out!

(WORKERS wheel out a massive circus

cannon. EDWARD takes the helmet.)

CIRCUS FOLK

LIKE A CANNON BALL

SOON TO BE A HUMAN COMET ABOVE

LIKE A CANNON BALL

CIRCLING A CONSTELLATION OF LOVE

FILLING UP THE HEAVENS

Act 1 - Scene 12

CIRCUS FOLK (CON’T)

MAKING WATERS PART

AIMING STRAIGHT FOR HIS BELOVED’S WELCOMING HEART

(EDWARD climbs into the cannon)

(Downstage, WILL looks through a file box.

JOSEPHINE enters with a red file.)

JOSEPHINE

Will. Who is Jenny Hill? I know that name.

WILL

She was my Dad’s high school girlfriend. “The prettiest,

blondest girl in Ashton.”

(re: folder)

What is that?

JOSEPHINE

(wary)

It’s a mortgage for a house in Ashton. Your father co-signed a

loan with “Jenny Hill.”

WILL

She’s real? This doesn’t make sense. Why would my father buy a

house with another woman?

(He looks up. A new thought--)

CIRCUS FOLK

BOOM!

(EDWARD is shot out of the cannon.

WILL and JOSEPHINE exit. CIRCUS

FOLK track EDWARD’s progress

across the heavens.)

CIRCUS FOLK

CLOSER IT’S TRUE

THERE’S NOT MUCH MORE HE CAN DO

THE YEARS GONE BY WILL SEEM A KIND OF DREAMY BLUR

AND WHEN AT AUBURN HE LANDS

HE’LL DO WHAT FORTUNE DEMANDS

WHEN FINALLY CLOSER THAN CLOSER TO

(A body falls from the sky, landing at--

AUBURN UNIVERSITY)

Act 1 - Scene 12

SCENE 13

AUBURN UNIVERSITY

EDWARD

(offstage)

Ooof!

(EDWARD stands up, dusting himself off. He

carries a bouquet of yellow daffodils. He

tries to find SANDRA amid many red-haired

women.)

#12 DAFFODILS

EDWARD

(various)

Sandra! Sandra Temple--sorry, I thought you were...Wait, Sandra,

hi...oh. Apologies. There are a lot of red-heads at this school.

Oh -- “Auburn” -- yeah, makes sense.

(finally)

Sandra! Sandra Templeton!

(SANDRA stands with a group of her

SORORITY SISTERS.)

SANDRA

(not recognizing)

Yes?

EDWARD

You don’t know me, but my name is Edward Bloom and I am in love

with you. I’ve spent the last three years working to find out

who you are but it’s all worth it to see you here, now, and to

finally get to talk to you.

SANDRA

I’m sorry...

EDWARD

Don’t need to apologize to me. I mean, I’m the luckiest person

you’re going to find today.

I WAS INDENTURED TO A TRAVELING CIRCUS

ELEPHANTS AND ALL

I WAS SHOT OUT OF A CANNON

WHEN THEY UP AND LOST THE BALL

Act 1 - Scene 13

EDWARD (CON’T)

I MET WEREWOLVES, GIANTS, DANCING BEARS

IF YOU DON’T THINK IT’S TRUE

THEN HOW ON EARTH

CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE ROAD

THAT LED ME HERE TO YOU?

SANDRA

(recognizing)

Wait, are you...

EDWARD

LOOK, I SAW YOU

AND ALL OF TIME IN ALL THE WORLD STOOD STILL

AND I PROMISE

I’LL PROVE MY WORTH

I’LL ROAM THE EARTH UNTIL

YOU BELIEVE ME

AND WE CAN BE, AT LAST FOREVER ONE

DON’T BE AFRAID

BE MY CRUSADE

SANDRA

You’re too late. I’m engaged to be married. She shows him the

ring.

EDWARD

TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO GO AND DO

TO MAKE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND

ANYTHING I HAVE TO PROMISE TO

I’LL GLADLY GET BEHIND

I’M THE MAN WHO YOU SHOULD MARRY

YOUR INTENDED THROUGH AND THROUGH

OTHERWISE I’D NEVER WALK THE ROAD

THAT LED ME HERE TO YOU

SANDRA

You’re the boy from the circus!

EDWARD

I am!

SANDRA

I wasn’t sure you were real. I imagine things a lot.

EDWARD

Then imagine us together: Mr. and Mrs. Edward Bloom.

Act 1 - Scene 13

SANDRA

Wait, Edward Bloom?

EDWARD

Yes.

SANDRA

From Ashton?

EDWARD

How did you know?

SANDRA

The boy I’m engaged to, he’s from Ashton. Don Price.

EDWARD

Don Price?! They let him into college?

SANDRA

He’s studying political science.

EDWARD

He’d fail gravity if it were a subject!

SANDRA

(smiles)

I help him where I can.

EDWARD

Bandage his knuckles where he drags them on the ground?

SANDRA

That’s a terrible thing to say.

EDWARD

A terrible Price to pay. Don’t marry that cretin.

SANDRA

Don.

EDWARD

Moron.

SANDRA

(looking past him)

No, Don.

Act 1 - Scene 13

(EDWARD turns to see DON PRICE approaching

with a bunch of his FRATERNITY BUDDIES. DON

PRICE is pissed.)

EDWARD

Oh, hey Don.

DON PRICE

Bloom?! What the hell are you doing?

SANDRA

(to Don)

Promise me you won’t hurt him.

EDWARD

I promise.

DON PRICE

This is my girl. Mine. Look!

(DON roughly grabs SANDRA’s hand to

show EDWARD the diamond ring.)

SANDRA

Don!

EDWARD

Take your hands off her.

DON PRICE

Or what? You’re not so big without a giant to back you up.

EDWARD

But I’ll always be the bigger man.

(DON PRICE suddenly clobbers EDWARD. His

buddies join in, roundly kicking the crap

out of EDWARD, who, true to his word,

doesn’t fight back.)

SANDRA

Don, stop! Stop! Don, I will never marry you. This was a

mistake.

DON PRICE

What? You actually love this guy?

Act 1 - Scene 13

SANDRA

(hands him the ring)

He’s almost a stranger, yet I prefer him to you.

(Disbelieving, DON AND HIS BUDDIES exit)

DON PRICE

Witch lover.

ZACKY PRICE

(weakly imitating)

Witch-lover.

(SANDRA helps EDWARD up)

SANDRA

Are you alright?

EDWARD

ONCE A MONTH

A SCRAP OF NEWS

IT FELT LIKE YOU WERE THERE

ONCE A MONTH

I HEARD YOUR VOICE

I HELD YOU, SOLITAIRE

AMOS SAID THAT YOU LOVED MUSIC

SAID THAT YOU WERE COLLEGE BOUND

BUT ONE THING

MORE THAN ALL THE REST

FILLED THE HEART INSIDE MY CHEST

HE TOLD ME YOU LOVED--

DAFFODILS

AND COUNTLESS AS THE STARS THAT SHINE

THEY STRETCHED IN NEVER ENDING LINE

‘TIL ALL I SAW WAS--

DAFFODILS

BESIDE THE LAKE BENEATH THE TREES

ALL FLUTTERING AND DANCING IN THE BREEZE

AND LIKE THAT MOMENT RIGHT BETWEEN ASLEEP AND WAKING

I THOUGHT I SAW TEN THOUSAND STRONG IN ONE QUICK GLANCE

BUT WHEN I SAW YOUR FACE, I KNEW BEYOND MISTAKING

A MILLION FLOWERS COULDN’T STAND A CHANCE

SO, I’LL PRETEND THE--

Act 1 - Scene 13

EDWARD (CON’T)

DAFFODILS

ARE JUST AN INTRODUCTION TO

THE BLOSSOMING OF ME AND YOU

BESIDE THE LAKE

BENEATH A TREE

BEYOND MISTAKE

PLEASE MARRY ME

SANDRA

But you hardly know me...

EDWARD

I have the rest of my life to find out.

(Center stage, EDWARD and SANDRA. He points

to a small bunch of daffodils--and then

others as they appear.)

EDWARD

These, these, and these...

[MUSIC BUILDS]

(Ultimately, the whole stage is completely

covered with daffodils.)

EDWARD

THESE ARE FOR YOU

ONLY FOR YOU

EDWARD AND SANDRA

LET’S BUILD A WORLD OF DAFFODILS

THAT NEVER FADES AND NEVER DIES

I SEE THE ANSWER IN YOUR EYES

YOU’LL/I’LL BE THE BRIDE

I’LL/YOU’LL BE THE GROOM

A DAFFODIL IN EVERY ROOM

EDWARD

AND I WILL SHOWER YOU WITH FLOWERS

OR MY NAME ISN’T

EDWARD--

Act 1 - Scene 13

EDWARD AND SANDRA

BLOOM

(EDWARD and SANDRA lean in. And they kiss.)

BLACKOUT—END OF ACT I

Act 1 - Scene 13

ACT II

SCENE 1

#13 ENTR’ACTE

(The entr’acte resolves to reveal

WILL and JOSEPHINE downstage in

their same positions from ACT I.)

(WILL is reeling)

WILL

Why would my father have a mortgage to a house I’ve never heard

about? And what’s the deal with Jenny Hill?

JOSEPHINE

Maybe she’s a friend.

WILL

Maybe she’s more than that. My father was a traveling salesman.

He could have easily had a second life. A second family!

JOSEPHINE

Stop! That’s not real.

WILL

What is real with my father? What if all these crazy stories are

just a smokescreen so we don’t bother looking for the truth?

(re: folder)

My father bought a secret house in Ashton. I can’t pretend we

didn’t find this.

JOSEPHINE

Okay, okay. I know you want to find answers, but think about the

time you have left. You’re here to make peace, Will, not start a

war.

WILL

War? Did he tell you the war story? Because that’s when I first

realized he was making it all up.

[MUSIC SEGUES]

#14 RED, WHITE AND TRUE

Act 2 - Scene 1

(A title card—“THE WAR.” As WILL and

JOSEPHINE exit, EDWARD BLOOM enters

downstage left. He’s dressed in a uniform,

followed by SCOUTS, including YOUNG WILL.)

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT

I’ll get the fire started.

EDWARD

Now, I don’t like to talk too much about the war.

(With a groan, YOUNG WILL turns away,

reading his book.)

EDWARD

Truth is, I was just a common soldier like all the other Alabama

boys. But then one night, I intercepted an enemy message--

(He ”magics” a folded slip from

behind YOUNG WILL’s ear.)

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT

What did it say?

EDWARD

That very night at the big USO show, the enemy was planning to

kill General Patterson.

(He points stage right, where

GENERAL PATTERSON enters.)

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT

(hand up)

How?

EDWARD

With a poison blow-dart shot by a deadly assassin. Only I could

save him.

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT

Weren’t you scared?

EDWARD

A man does what he must. A Hero does what no other man can.

Act 2 - Scene 1

(EDWARD brings a stool to GENERAL PATTERSON.

A beautiful USO SINGER is revealed. It’s

SANDRA in a gorgeous dress.)

OVER-EXCITED SCOUT

(to YOUNG WILL)

Isn’t that your Mom?

YOUNG WILL

In my Dad’s stories, the most beautiful woman is always my Mom.

(SANDRA begins to sing)

SANDRA

THERE’S A BOY WHO KNOWS THE WAY I FEEL

SOMEONE WHO IS CONFIDENT AND REAL

ALWAYS AT THE READY

ALWAYS BY MY SIDE

HOW I HOPE SOME DAY I’LL BE HIS BRIDE

(Beautiful PATRIOTIC DANCERS enter)

COMPANY

WHAT ARE THE COLORS OF

THE ONLY MAN I LOVE?

RED, WHITE AND TRUE!

WHO IS THE GUY FOR ME

ANNOUNCING VICTORY?

RED, WHITE AND TRUE!

WHEREVER TENSIONS SEEM TO FLARE

HE IS THE ONE WHO’S STANDING THERE

AND WHEN HE LEADS THE WAY

WE CAN STAND AND SAY

RED, WHITE AND TRUE!

(Spotlight ON RED FANG, who readies

a blowgun.)

RED FANG

Die, General Patterson!

(EDWARD BLOOM leaps in, grabbing

the blowgun. THE TWO MEN grapple--THE

DANCERS don’t acknowledge any of this.)

EDWARD

It was at that moment I realized who my opponent was --

(rips off black mask to reveal red mask)

Act 2 - Scene 1

-- Red Fang, the Poison Assassin.

(the two men battle)

WOMEN

WHAT ARE THE COLORS OF

THE ONLY MAN I LOVE?

RED, WHITE AND TRUE!

WHO IS THE GUY FOR US

FOREVER GLORIOUS

RED, WHITE AND TRUE!

WHENEVER EVIL COMES TO TOWN

HE IS THE ONE WHO BRINGS IT --

(HE’S THE ONE WHO BRINGS IT DOWN)

SO LET HIM LEAD THE WAY

(RED FANG knocks out EDWARD)

WOMEN

AS WE SHOUT “HOORAY!”

RED FANG

Hooray!

WOMEN

RED!

HE'S RED, WHITE AND—

(THE WOMEN begin a stunning tap

routine. THE GENERAL weaves

between the girls. RED FANG can’t

get a clear shot at him.)

GENERAL

Hey! Hey! Not part of the show. Not part of the show!

(Face-to-face with RED FANG, THE GENERAL

grabs hold of the blowgun. A tug-of-war,

with the girls helping THE GENERAL. Finally,

THE GENERAL loses hold of the blowgun and

stumbles onto the steps. THE WOMEN cover him

up as they dance. RED FANG, determined to

get to THE GENERAL, pulls each of the girls

out of his way, finally exposing THE

GENERAL.)

Act 2 - Scene 1

RED FANG

No one to save you now!

[SFX: thwwk!]

(RED FANG shoots a blow dart – but EDWARD

jumps in the way, “taking the bullet” for

THE GENERAL. With a blowdart stuck in his

neck, EDWARD stumbles downstage, reeling.

EDWARD falls, dead.)

YOUNG WILL

Logically, that doesn’t make sense—

EDWARD

(popping up)

Luckily, years earlier I had been bitten by the choocalabra

snake of Tanzania. I was immune to Red Fang’s poison.

(EDWARD pulls the dart from his

neck and throws it back at RED

FANG. THE ASSASSIN falls--)

RED FANG

(dying gasp)

Choooo-cuh-labra!

GENERAL

(stepping forward)

Private, what’s your name?

EDWARD

Don’t matter, sir. I’m just a soldier like all these men. And I

think they deserve a show. Ladies? What do you say?

(EDWARD joins them for a showstopping

finale)

SANDRA AND WOMEN EDWARD AND MEN

WHEREVER TENSIONS I’M/HE’S JUST A

SEEM TO FLARE PROUD AMERICAN

HE IS THE ONE I/HE WON’T PRESUME

WHO’S STANDING THERE I’M/HE’S BETTER THAN

Act 2 - Scene 1

ALL

AND WHEN HE LEADS THE WAY

WE CAN STAND AND SAY

RED! RED! RED!

HE’S/I’M RED, WHITE AND TRUE!

#14A RED, WHITE AND TRUE PLAYOFF

(As THE DANCERS file out, downstage

a campfire appears. EDWARD BLOOM

finishes telling this story to the

group of SCOUTS.)

EDWARD

Lots of people say that was the turning point of the war. I like

to think it was just one man doing his part.

(THE SCOUTS cheer)

SCOUTS (VARIOUS)

Yeah! Cool./Go Mr. Bloom!/Your dad is awesome.

EDWARD

G‘night, scouts.

SCOUTS (VARIOUS)

(exiting)

‘Night! / Goodnight Mr. Bloom!

(YOUNG WILL stays behind with HIS FATHER)

YOUNG WILL

Dad -- when did that all happen?

EDWARD

During the war!

YOUNG WILL

But...which war?

EDWARD

(incredulous)

Which war? Don’t they teach you anything in school?

Act 2 - Scene 1

YOUNG WILL

That’s just it. They do teach us.

#14B CAMPFIRE DANCE/DAFFODILS TRANSITION

(YOUNG WILL exits. EDWARD doubles back to

blow out the fire, then exits. We transition

to--)

Act 2 - Scene 1

SCENE 2

BEDROOM. PAST.

(SANDRA makes the bed. YOUNG WILL

enters with a baseball and mitt --)

YOUNG WILL

I can help!

SANDRA

What would I do without you?

(As they make the bed --)

YOUNG WILL

Mom, are there really witches?

SANDRA

Why -- did your father have another run-in with Miss Johnson at

the library? That woman is terrifying -- and honestly, your Dad

doesn’t really know how to whisper.

(EDWARD enters, surprising SANDRA

with a bouquet of flowers.)

SANDRA

(playful)

Daffodils. Well, now I know you did something.

EDWARD

Bob Ray quit, so they’re giving me his route. All the way to

Dallas!

SANDRA

That’s a lot of driving.

EDWARD

Helluva chance to expand my region.

SANDRA

I don’t care how far you go, Edward Bloom. Just as long as you

make it back.

(With a kiss, she heads off with a

laundry basket. EDWARD chases

after her, frisky--)

Act 2 - Scene 2

SANDRA

(on exit)

There is a young child right there!

(EDWARD stays back with YOUNG WILL--)

EDWARD

So, you got another soccer game this week?

YOUNG WILL

It’s not soccer season anymore.

EDWARD

‘Course not. Will, I’m gonna need you to look after your mother.

You’re the man of the house while I’m on the road.

YOUNG WILL

On the road to where?

EDWARD

Everywhere. How do I explain it?

#15 FIGHT THE DRAGONS

It’s not about a destination, Will. The road is something that’s

in you. A need. You don’t drive it – it drives you. Understand?

YOUNG WILL

No.

EDWARD

I’VE NEVER BEEN A MAN WHO LIVED AN OFFICE LIFE

I’VE NEVER BEEN A MAN BEHIND A DESK

I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN WHO SAID

THAT STAYIN’ STILL IS PLAYIN’ DEAD

THE KIND WHO’S LOOKIN’ FORWARD TO THE CHALLENGES AHEAD

PEOPLE SAY THAT’S IRRESPONSIBLE

PEOPLE TELL ME STAY AT HOME

BUT I’M NOT MADE FOR THINGS

LIKE MOWIN’ LAWNS OR APRON STRINGS

I’M MY BEST

WHEN NOT AT REST

SO I FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND I STORM THE CASTLES

AND I WIN A BATTLE OR TWO

Act 2 - Scene 2

EDWARD (CON’T)

THEN COMES THE DAY IT’S TIME

I’M PACKIN’ UP AND I AM

BRINGING ALL MY STORIES HOME TO YOU

ALL I CAN SEE IS MILES AHEAD WITH MILES TO GO

ALL I CAN FEEL IS WIND AND SUN AND SKY

STOP FOR A COFFEE, MAKE A FRIEND

AND PRAY THE DAY WILL NEVER END

‘CUZ THERE’S ONE MORE ADVENTURE WAITIN’ ROUND ANOTHER BEND

WHERE I FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND I STORM THE CASTLES

AND I WIN A BATTLE OR TWO

BUT THEN A FEELING COMES

LIKE FIFTY THOUSAND DRUMS

ALL BANGING “BRING MY STORIES HOME TO YOU”

AND I WONDER AS I WANDER

ON THE ROAD FROM DOOR TO DOOR

EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK OF WHERE I’VE BEEN

DO YOU KNOW I JOINED THE CIRCUS

MET A MERMAID

FOUGHT A WAR

DO YOU KNOW I THINK OF YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN

BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I’M MAKING DEALS

AND BRINGING PEOPLE JOY

I’M USUALLY ONLY THINKING OF MY BOY

OUT THERE ON THE ROAD I PRAY

YOU’LL COME TO ME ONE DAY

AND SAY--

EDWARD AND YOUNG WILL

LET’S FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND THEN STORM THE CASTLES

EDWARD

‘TIL WE WIN WHAT NEEDS TO BE WON

SO WHEN I’M OLD AND TIRED

YOU’LL DO THE JOB REQUIRED

YOU’LL BE THERE TELLING STORIES TO YOUR SON

(EDWARD and YOUNG WILL move downstage)

Act 2 - Scene 2

EDWARD (CON’T)

THEN WE FIGHT THE DRAGONS

AND WE STORM THE CASTLES

AND I DO THE BEST THAT I CAN

BUT EVERYBODY KNOWS

THAT’S HOW THE STORY GOES

TO TURN EACH BOY INTO A BIGGER MAN

SO I’LL FIGHT THE DRAGONS

‘TIL YOU CAN

#15A STRANGER REPRISE

(EDWARD exits. YOUNG WILL realizes he still

has his mitt. He throws his ball off stage

left. No one throws it back. WILL enters,

carrying the red folder. He trades places

with YOUNG WILL, who exits.)

WILL

STRANGER

I'M FEELING STRANGER THAN I'VE EVER FELT BEFORE

AND SO MUCH MORE

DIFFERENT

LIKE SOMETHING OLD HAS JOINED WITH SOMETHING NEW

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

(As WILL exits, reveal --)

Act 2 - Scene 2

SCENE 3

BEDROOM. PRESENT.

(EDWARD lies in bed. SANDRA turns on the TV.

Western theme music plays.)

#15B EDEN RIVER

SANDRA

A Western! You love Westerns.

TV NARRATOR

Eden River. The story of the great frontier and one man

determined to make his mark on it – a hero, a champion, a brave

pioneer.

(WILL enters. A sotto conversation with

SANDRA before she exits.)

WILL

Dad?

(Ignored, WILL switches off the TV.)

EDWARD

Son?

WILL

Can we talk?

EDWARD

I believe we have permission.

(A wince of pain)

(WILL helps him with a glass of water as

EDWARD takes some medicine.)

WILL

Do the pills help?

EDWARD

Mostly. But they got me floatin’ a bit. Not entirely sure what’s

real.

Act 2 - Scene 3

WILL

I know that feeling.

(EDWARD smiles. He walked into that one.)

WILL (CON’T)

Do you know much about icebergs, Dad?

EDWARD

I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for

drinking water, only they didn’t count on an elephant being

frozen inside. The woolly kind. A mammoth.

WILL

(interrupting)

Dad!

[MUSIC OUT]

EDWARD

What?

WILL

I’m trying to make a metaphor here.

EDWARD

Then you shouldn’t have started with a question. Because people

want to answer questions. You should have started with, “The

thing about icebergs is...”

WILL

(frustrated)

The thing about icebergs is you only see 10 percent of them. The

other 90 percent is below the water where you can’t see it. And

that’s what it is with you, Dad. I’m only seeing this little bit

that sticks above the water.

EDWARD

(joking)

What, you’re seeing down to my nose? My chin?

WILL

I have no idea who you are…because you have never

told me a single fact.

EDWARD

I talk about myself all the time! I tell stories.

Act 2 - Scene 3

WILL

Yes, you tell stories, Dad. You make stuff up. And I’m wondering

if it’s all to conceal something you don’t want people to know.

EDWARD

You got me. My secret identity.

(dramatically)

Superman.

(Unamused, WILL cuts to the chase--)

WILL

Can we talk about Ashton, Dad?

#15C PRE-SHOWDOWN

EDWARD

Ashton? I grew up there. You know that.

(a shift)

WILL

So why did we never visit? It’s not that far a drive.

EDWARD

Nothing to see there.

WILL

Dad, I’m about to have a kid of my own here. It would kill me if

he went through his whole life with...doubts.

EDWARD

It would kill you, huh?

(sitting up)

Let’s hear it, then. What exactly are you accusing me of, Will?

WILL

I’m not. I’m just trying to get a handle on some things.

EDWARD

Handle ‘em as you will. I think we’re done talking.

WILL

Dad...

Act 2 - Scene 3

EDWARD

GET OUT!

(WILL takes the folder. He crosses with

SANDRA and she enters.)

SANDRA

Will -- What did you do?

WILL

I didn’t do anything.

JOSEPHINE

(intercepting)

Calm down. Calm down, Will.

WILL

I know you’re trying to protect me. But you can’t.

(WILL and JOSEPHINE exit)

SANDRA

(to EDWARD)

What happened?

EDWARD

He attacked me. Come after me like I’m a villain.

SANDRA

I’m sure he didn’t mean to. Let’s get you back to bed.

EDWARD

He’s got it wrong. I’m not the bad guy.

(SANDRA sits in the chair beside the bed,

shuts her eyes. As EDWARD tries to sleep,

the television comes to life.)

[SFX: STATIC. BUZZING. (Sounds from a

Western)]

(The beginning of a dementia dream. COWBOYS

and WESTERN TOWNSFOLK emerge from the TV.

The bedroom transforms into an Old West

saloon.)

Act 2 - Scene 3

EDWARD

Who are you people?! Get out of my room!

(WILL appears downstage dressed as a Wild

West sheriff.)

EDWARD

Oh, you want to do this, Will? We can do this, right here.

#16 SHOWDOWN

WILL

YOU SEE THIS MAN?

THIS TIRED MAN?

HE’S A LIAR AND SCOUNDREL TO THE CORE

EDWARD

YOU SEE THIS BOY?

UNGRATEFUL BOY

KNOCKIN’ ON A LONG FORGOTTEN DOOR

WILL

NOW I KNOW

I KNOW

SOMETHING HE’S BEEN HIDING

SOMETHING THAT HIS PRIDE WILL NOT REVEAL

EDWARD

HE WASTES HIS TIME ACCUSING ME

WHAT EXACTLY DOES THIS FELLOW FEEL?

WILL

I FEEL LIKE THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT

COWBOY

Damn right!

WILL

THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT

VARIOUS

‘Bout time!/String him up!

WILL

THERE’S GOTTA BE

I GUARANTEE

A WRONG AND A RIGHT

Act 2 - Scene 3

WILL (CON’T)

AND THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT

(THE TOWNSFOLK cheer and dance)

THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT

ALL

THAT’S RIGHT!

YES, THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT!

WILL

YOU SEE THIS FOLDER IN MY HAND?

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS

EDWARD

Do I?

WILL

WHO’LL BE THE FIRST TO TELL US

EDWARD

TELL ALL YOU WANT

BUT YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND

WILL

SO WHAT COMES NEXT?

MEN AND WOMEN

WHAT COMES NEXT

ABIDE THE LAW

BEGIN A TRIAL

A TRIAL

(MEN and WOMEN gather together to form A

JURY)

EDWARD

Friends, life is a trial.

(THE JURY laughs and nods)

WILL

Now, you claim...

Act 2 - Scene 3

EDWARD

SON--

YOU CAN’T GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE

YOUR LIFE WON’T RERUN

AND YOU CAN’T UNDO THE THINGS

THAT YOU’D PREFER BE UNDONE

YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE THE PAST

THOUGH IT MAY HAUNT EVERY BREATH

YOU CAN DROWN BUT BE REBORN

IF YOU’RE NOT FRIGHTENED OF DEATH

JURY

Oooh.

EDWARD

YOU’RE SO SURE THAT I’M A ROTTEN FATHER

ABSENT AND LAME

NEVER INTERESTED IN STAYING HOME

OR HOMECOMING GAME

MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE

IMPERFECT SON

WHO OVERREACTS

BETTER CHECK WITH ALL YOUR SOURCES

BEFORE TWISTING THE FACTS

WILL

SO, BY NO MEANS DID YOU VISIT ASHTON?

EDWARD

BACK IN MY YOUTH

WILL AND ALL BUT JUDGE

CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN PRECISELY

WHY YOU’RE HIDING THE TRUTH?

EDWARD

I’M NOT HIDING THE TRUTH

WILL

(overlap)

YOUR HONOR, I WOULD LIKE TO SUBMIT

ONE MORE MAJOR PIECE OF EVIDENCE

EDWARD, GROCER AND WIFE

AND THEN YOU’LL ACQUIT!

Act 2 - Scene 3

WILL

WOULD YOU KINDLY TELL THE JURY

WHAT YOU HOLD IN THE AIR

EDWARD

SAYS RIGHT HERE THAT IT’S A DEED

WILL AND ALL BUT JUDGE

TO WHAT?

EDWARD

A HOUSE

WILL

TELL ME WHERE

EDWARD

REALLY, SON, I DON’T KNOW

WHAT YOU THINK YOU’RE TRYING TO PROVE

WILL AND ALL BUT JUDGE

WHERE’S THE HOUSE?

EDWARD

IT SAYS IN ASHTON

WILL

AND THAT’S SOMEWHERE THAT YOU’VE

NEVER BEEN TO SINCE YOUR BOYHOOD

BUT THIS DEED SPELLS IT OUT

THERE IS SOMEONE LIVING IN THAT HOUSE

EDWARD

NOW, WHAT’S THIS ABOUT

WILL

YOU INSIST YOU’VE NEVER BEEN THERE

EDWARD

WELL, THAT MIGHT BE THE CASE

WILL

NOW, YOU’RE LYING

EDWARD

THAT’S ENOUGH

Act 2 - Scene 3

WILL

YOU’RE LYING RIGHT TO MY FACE

(re: folder)

Who is Jenny Hill?

(EDWARD won’t answer)

WILL

(to the JUDGE)

Your honor?

EDWARD

Doc, how long we been friends?

JUDGE

Take him away.

(THE COWBOYS lift EDWARD onto the

bed. He feels an imaginary noose

around his neck.)

ALL

NOW THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT

THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’ TONIGHT

THERE’S GOTTA BE

A STURDY TREE

AND IN THE MOONLIGHT

MEN WOMEN

THERE’S GONNA BE A

HANGIN’ THERE’S GONNA BE A

THERE’S GONNA BE A HANGIN’

HANGIN’ THERE’S GONNA BE A

THERE’S GONNA BE HANGIN’

TOWNSFOLK AND WILL

A HANGIN’

A HANGIN’!!

(WILL and all the WESTERN CHARACTERS exit.

The bedroom returns to normal.)

[SFX: THUNDER]

Act 2 - Scene 3

(EDWARD screams, clutching his neck. Moving

downstage, he takes his hands away,

surprised to find there’s no noose. SANDRA

wakes, panicked to see EDWARD in this

state.)

SANDRA

Edward? Honey?

EDWARD

He attacked me. Come after me like I’m a villain.

SANDRA

You’re okay! Let’s calm down. Tell me what happened.

EDWARD

I just did!

(beat)

I did, didn’t I? It’s all got kinda blurry.

(He crumples to the floor. SANDRA joins

him.)

SANDRA

It’s okay honey. It was just a nightmare. You’re right here with

me.

(They both listen to the rain)

[SFX: THUNDER]

#17 I DON’T NEED A ROOF

EDWARD

The roof should hold up. The shingles still got at least ten

years in ‘em. You’ll be fine.

(off her reaction)

Ah, honey. What’d I say?

SANDRA

IN YOUR FACE

I SEE A LIFETIME

IN THIS PLACE

Act 2 - Scene 3

SANDRA (CON’T)

I FEEL AT EASE

WALLPAPER PEELING

PAINT WEARING THIN

HERE’S WHERE I END AND BEGIN

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO SAY I’M COVERED

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO KNOW I’M HOME

THERE COULD BE A SINGLE SHINGLE DANGLING OVERHEAD

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO MAKE MY BED

(EDWARD lays his head in SANDRA’s lap)

CLOSE YOUR EYES

I’M STILL BESIDE YOU

NO GOODBYES

NEEDED TODAY

HEAR WHAT THE RAIN SAYS

KNOW WHAT IT KNOWS

AFTER THE RAIN SOMETHING GROWS

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO SAY I LOVE YOU

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO CALL YOU MINE

I DON’T NEED ADVENTURE IN SOME FAR AWAY FRONTIER

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO FEEL YOU NEAR

ALL I NEED IS YOU AND YOU FOREVER

ALL I FEEL IS TRUE AND ABSOLUTE

I DON’T NEED A LEGAL DEED TO HELP ME PLAY MY PART

I DON’T NEED A ROOF TO HOLD MY HEART

STAY WITH ME

[MUSIC SEGUES TO #17A]

(As EDWARD and SANDRA exit, segue to--)

Act 2 - Scene 3

SCENE 4

OUTSIDE A TIDY, LITTLE HOUSE

#17A JENNY HILL

(JENNY HILL ENTERS, kneeling at the river’s

edge to fill up her watering can. Her back

is to WILL as he enters, carrying the red

folder.)

WILL

Excuse me. Hi.

JENNY HILL

Oh.

(recognizing him)

Oh!

WILL

Hello.

JENNY HILL

I wasn’t expecting you.

WILL

Are you Jenny Hill?

JENNY HILL

I am. And you’re Will, Eddie’s son. You look so much like him.

WILL

How did you know my father?

JENNY HILL

From high school. Before that, even.

(A beat--not flinching)

WILL

Were you and my father having an affair?

JENNY HILL

(taken back)

Wow. You just said it.

Act 2 - Scene 4

100

WILL

I’ve seen him with women. He flirts. He always has. On some

level, I presumed he was cheating on my mother. I just never had

proof.

(shows her the folder)

That’s your signature, right? The deed to this house. He

co-signed the loan.

JENNY HILL

Can I ask you a question? Why did you come here today? If you

found this, why didn’t you just ask Eddie?

WILL

Because he’s dying.

(JENNY is taken back by the suddenness of

it. She’s a tangle of conflicting emotions.)

JENNY HILL

Look, I don’t know how much you want to know about any of this.

You have one image of your father and it would be wrong of me to

go and change it.

WILL

My father talked about a lot of things he never did, and I’m

sure he did a lot of things he never talked about. I’m just

trying to reconcile the two.

(beat)

You said you went to high school with him. Was that here, in

Ashton?

JENNY HILL

It was in Ashton, but Ashton wasn’t here. You do know what

happened to the town, right?

WILL

No.

JENNY HILL

Oh honey. That’s the only reason your father came back. The

state was building a new reservoir -- the whole valley was gonna

be flooded. In just a few hours, the town of Ashton would be

thirty feet under water.

(making space on the porch)

Edward Bloom came back to take one last look at the town he left

so long ago.

Act 2 - Scene 4

101

SCENE 5

ASHTON TOWN SQUARE

(Lights up--THE CITIZENS OF ASHTON have

chained themselves to the buildings in

protest. Banners and signs read “Save

Ashton” and “Don’t Drown Our Town.”

DON PRICE leads a chant from the base of a

statue--)

DON PRICE

What do we want?

TOWNSFOLK

Nothing to change!

DON PRICE

When do we want it?

TOWNSFOLK

Forever!

DON PRICE

What do we want?

TOWNSFOLK

Nothing to change!

DON PRICE

When do we want it?

TOWNSFOLK

Forever!

DON PRICE

As long as we’re chained here, the state won’t dare drown this

town.

(EDWARD enters. ZACKY is the first to spot

him.)

ZACKY PRICE

Edward Bloom?

SHARECROPPER

It can’t be.

Act 2 - Scene 5

102

EDWARD

It is!

ZACKY PRICE

We knew you’d come. When you left, you said quote, “I’ll never

forget Ashton. I’ll come back, I promise.”

SHARECROPPER

We just thought it’d be sooner!

DON PRICE

Edward Bloom.

EDWARD

Don Price.

DON PRICE

That’s Mayor Don Price.

EDWARD

Congratulations. Look, I came because I read in the paper that

they were floodin’ the valley.

ZACKY PRICE

So what’s your plan, Edward?

EDWARD

(confused)

What, me? You think I’m here to save you?

#18 START OVER

ZACKY PRICE

You’re persuasive! You can talk to them, get them to stop

building the dam.

EDWARD

The dam’s already built. The river’s already rising.

DON PRICE

The state’s not gonna let us all drown.

EDWARD

Does anyone even know you’re here?

DON PRICE

Yeah!

Act 2 - Scene 5

103

DON PRICE (CON’T)

(actually...)

Maybe.

ZACKY PRICE

Wait, nobody knows we’re here?! Edward, you gotta help us.

You’re the only one who can save the town.

DON PRICE

Uh-uh! Not this time!

EDWARD’S NOT A SAVIOR

EDWARD’S NOT A SAINT

HOW CAN HE BE GOOD FOR US?

HE’S NOT THE THING HE SAYS HE AIN’T

WE CAN CHANGE OUR FATE

YOU BET WE CAN

WE DON’T NEED THIS INTERLOPING MAN

EDWARD

He’s right!

DON PRICE

I am not! I mean...what?

EDWARD

You gotta let go of the past.

I SUGGEST THAT YOU

START OVER

DON PRICE

Now?

EDWARD

START OVER

DON PRICE

How?

EDWARD

INSTEAD OF DROWN

WE MOVE THE TOWN

AND START OVER

TOWNSFOLK

Wow.

Act 2 - Scene 5

104

(DON grumbles)

EDWARD

YOU CAN SWEAT

YOU CAN FRET

‘TIL WE’RE ALL SOAKING WET

‘CUZ GOOD GOD THERE’S A FLOOD ON THE WAY

IF YOU START OVER

TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY

What’s so great about these buildings? Nothin’. These roads are

full of potholes. But that’s not what makes a town -- a town is

made of people and memories and dreams. You got those! You don’t

have to stay here to stay together!

FARM GIRL

But where we movin’ to?!

CHEERLEADER

We gotta get some new land first.

DON PRICE

We couldn’t afford to build a new town anyway.

EDWARD

(undeterred)

What if I got you the land and the money?

ZACKY PRICE

(re: chains)

Well, you’d know where to find us.

(EDWARD leaves THE TOWSFOLK to meet up with

AMOS CALLOWAY, seated at his desk, along

with a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.)

AMOS

I’ll tell ya, Edward --

WHEN WE MET I LIVED A KIND OF SECRETIVE LIFE

I WAS A MYSTERIOUS MAN

AFTER MEETING YOU I MET MYSELF AND MY WIFE

ALL BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME I CAN

YOU’RE UPSET

YOU’RE IN NEED

I’VE GOT LAND

AND A DEED

Act 2 - Scene 5

105

AMOS (CON’T)

YOU CAN HAVE EVERY WEED

EVERY STONE

YOU’RE THE ONLY MAN WHO I WOULD EVER GIVE A THING TO

THE TRUEST FRIEND THAT I’VE EVER KNOWWWWN!

You’ll love this land. Lotsa tasty rabbits!

EDWARD

Thank you Amos, thank you!

(EDWARD leaves AMOS to find KARL THE GIANT,

who has become a Wall Street tycoon. He has

a GIANT GIRLFRIEND.)

KARL

Edward! When I met you, I was living in a cave.

YOU CONVINCED ME TO

START OVER

We’d offset the construction costs by floating a thirty-year

fixed-rate bond tied to the to the Nikkei index.

(beat)

I know a guy.

IN A RUSH

YOU’LL BE FLUSH

I’LL GET CASH

BUT HUSH-HUSH

I WON’T DO THIS FOR JUST ANY JOE

YOU CAN START OVER

AND EDWARD I’LL GIVE YOU THE DOUGH

EDWARD

Thank you Karl, thank you!

(EDWARD returns to THE TOWNSFOLK)

I GOT YOU THE LAND JUST OVER THE HILL

AND MONEY TO BUILD A NEW TOWN

ZACKY PRICE

MONEY TO BUILD A NEW TOWN

Act 2 - Scene 5

106

DON PRICE

MONEY TO BUILD A NEW TOWN

TOWNSFOLK

MONEY TO BUILD A NEW TOWN

EDWARD, MEN AND WOMEN

START OVER

INSTEAD OF DROWN

WE MOVE THE TOWN

AND START OVER

MEN AND WOMEN

WE CAN SWEAT

WE CAN FRET

‘TIL WE’RE ALL SOAKING WET

EDWARD, DON AND ZACKY

SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE WHAT WE SAY

IF WE START OVER TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY

ALL

TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY

EDWARD, DON AND ZACKY

TOMORROW BEGINS TODAY

(DON raises the deed and check triumphantly)

ALL

TOMORROW BEGINS

TOMORROW BEGINS!

(As the song starts to build toward

its conclusion, everything suddenly freezes

and we’re back to JENNY HILL’S PORCH)

WILL

Wait -- if what you’re saying is true, then that’s the biggest

thing my father’s ever done. He saved a town. Why wouldn’t he

tell me that story?

JENNY HILL

Because the story doesn’t end there.

Act 2 - Scene 5

107

(JENNY HILL crosses into the town square,

where she chains herself. Everything

unfreezes --)

ZACKY PRICE

Edward, you saved us again!

EDWARD

It was all Don’s idea.

(TOWNSFOLK cheer for DON instead)

DON PRICE

Water’s risin’! Let’s go!

(As CITIZENS exit, DON offers EDWARD a

handshake. EDWARD notices a woman with her

back to him. Doesn’t realize it’s JENNY.)

EDWARD

Ma’am? Ma’am, we gotta go. They already started flooding the

valley.

JENNY HILL

You’re too late.

EDWARD

No -- we still got an hour, at least.

JENNY HILL

(turning to him)

You’re years too late.

#18A START OVER (REPRISE)

EDWARD

Jenny Hill. What are you -- I heard you married, moved away.

JENNY HILL

My husband left me, too. He could never compete with the

fantasy. A girl only gets one true love, and that was you.

EDWARD

Jenny, I’m sorry.

Act 2 - Scene 5

108

JENNY HILL

Just forget me like you did before. Let me drown here, Edward

Bloom.

EDWARD

I won’t.

JENNY HILL

You did! I have been drowning since the moment you left.

EDWARD

I’M NOT HERE TO ARGUE OR CONFESS

ONLY HERE FOR DAMSELS IN DISTRESS

LEAVE THIS MESS AND THEN

START OVER

SAY ‘BYE TO THE OLD FANTASY

AND START OVER

WHEN THERE’S PAIN

DON’T COMPLAIN

JUST HOLD ON THROUGH THE RAIN

AND YOU’LL WONDER WHAT CAUSED ALL THE FUSS

WHEN WE START OVER

TOMORROW BEGINS FOR US

(JENNY relents. EDWARD unlocks her chains

and carries her off-stage. Water rises,

eventually overtaking the town. WILL watches

from the porch. A title card: “THE FLOOD.”

As the waters retreat, EDWARD leads JENNY

in, her eyes blindfolded.)

EDWARD

Little further. Little further. Now watch out for that poisonous

snake!

(she squeals)

Just kiddin’. Alright, three…two…one…

(He pulls down the blindfold)

JENNY HILL

Oh my god. Is this really my house?

EDWARD

All you have to do is sign.

Act 2 - Scene 5

109

(He holds the red folder with the deed.

JENNY signs. So does EDWARD.)

EDWARD

(signing)

Edward Bloom. I promised I’d come back, Jenny. I’m a man of my

word.

(WILL takes the folder from EDWARD’s hand)

JENNY HILL

Thank you.

(A smile. A hug. The hug turns into a kiss.

EDWARD lets it go on longer than he should.

He finally pushes away.)

EDWARD

I am in love with my wife. From the moment I saw her until the

moment I die, she’s the only one.

JENNY HILL

Lucky girl.

EDWARD

I’m sorry, Jenny. I am.

(With that, EDWARD exits. As we transition

back to present day, JENNY sits on the porch

with WILL.)

JENNY HILL

He never came back. And I guess he never said a word about

saving Ashton. The greatest thing he ever did, and not a story

to go with it.

WILL

He could have left you out of the story.

JENNY HILL

No, he could never risk you coming here, finding out. It had to

go untold.

WILL

It was just a kiss.

Act 2 - Scene 5

110

JENNY HILL

(surprised)

You don’t understand him, do you?

WILL

I want to.

JENNY HILL

Honey, you’re the key to all of this. The way Eddie smiled when

he talked about you -- well, you were just a boy, but you were

smart. He was so proud of you. You knew that, didn’t you?

(WILL didn’t)

He wanted you to be proud of him, too.

(WILL’s phone rings. He checks the

number and answers.)

WILL

Hi...What’s wrong, are you...When? Where is he? Is Mom...Okay.

I’m coming, I’m coming.

(to Jenny)

I’m sorry. I have to...

JENNY HILL

Is it Eddie? Is he..?

WILL

I don’t know.

#18B TRANSITION TO HOSPITAL

(WILL exits as we reveal--)

Act 2 - Scene 5

111

SCENE 6

HOSPITAL ROOM

(EDWARD sleeps in a hospital bed. JOSEPHINE

and SANDRA pace. WILL enters)

WILL

What happened?

JOSEPHINE

Your father stopped breathing. We called the ambulance --

WILL

Is he going to be okay? I mean, will he get back to the way he

was when--

(She shakes her head)

WILL (CON’T)

Mom. I’m so sorry. I should have been there.

SANDRA

There’s nothing you could have done.

WILL

What does Dr. Bennett say?

SANDRA

They’ll know better in the morning. Some test. I’m supposed to

go downstairs--fill out paperwork.

WILL

I’ll go with you.

SANDRA

No, one of us should stay with him.

JOSEPHINE

I’ll go with you.

#18C TIME STOPS REPRISE

(SANDRA hesitates, reluctant to leave, but

then departs with JOSEPHINE. WILL sits

beside the bed, writing in a note pad. DR.

BENNETT enters.)

Act 2 - Scene 6

112

WILL

Dr. Bennett.

DR. BENNETT

Will.

WILL

Dr. Bennett, how long have you known my father?

DR. BENNETT

(checking EDWARD’s chart)

How old are you? Add a couple years to that.

WILL

How would you describe him?

DR. BENNETT

(re: chart)

Five-nine. One-sixty. Regulated hypertension.

WILL

Can he hear us?

DR. BENNETT

Hard to say what anyone hears. Harder still to know if they’re

listenin’.

(DR. BENNETT exits. WILL pulls a chair over

next to his father’s bed. It’s the mirror

image of the opening, with a son beside his

father.)

WILL

I know about Ashton, Dad. I know what you did. You saved a town

and broke a girl’s heart. I get why you didn’t want Mom to know.

I do. But what you did was...heroic.

(re: notebook)

I made a list of your stories. There are thirty-six basic tales,

with a lot of variations of course. Some are just jokes. Awful

jokes, mostly. But you take the rest and it’s like a myth. An

epic tale about a farmer’s son from Alabama who wanted to see

the world. You never did, though. I did. And I think that’s

because of you.

(takes EDWARD’s hand)

All this time, I thought you were trying to impress me. You were

trying to inspire me.

Act 2 - Scene 6

113

[SFX: A LOW SOUND]

WILL (CON’T)

Dad?

(EDWARD coughs, gasps, panicked.)

Dad. Do you want me to get a nurse?

(EDWARD shakes his head unambiguously)

What can I do? Can I help? Can I get you something? Water?

(WILL pours a glass from the pitcher on the

nightstand. EDWARD pushes it away. He wanted

something else.)

EDWARD

The river.

WILL

The river?

EDWARD

Tell me how it happens.

WILL

How what happens?

EDWARD

How I go.

WILL

I don’t...You mean what the Witch showed you? I don’t know that

part of the story, Dad. You never told me what you saw.

EDWARD

(panicked)

Will...

WILL

I can’t. Dad, I don’t know how to do this.

(Every instinct tells WILL to get the

doctor. EDWARD gives a louder noise.

Desperate.)

Act 2 - Scene 6

114

WILL (CON’T)

I can try, Dad. If you help. Just tell me how it starts.

EDWARD

Like this.

#19 WHAT’S NEXT

WILL

Okay. Okay.

(WILL wings it, desperately trying

to make up an Edward Bloom story

on the spot. Looking around--)

FIRST THINGS FIRST

WE’RE IN THIS PRISON CELL

HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO BREAK OUT

FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO STAKE OUT

LOOK AROUND

BE SURE WE AREN’T SEEN

SLOWLY CHECK THE DOOR

BEFORE WE’RE SPOTTED

WERE WE SPOTTED?

I KNOW

YOU’VE BEEN

(really pouring it on)

A SECRET DOUBLE AGENT

BUT WE CAN TURN THE PAGE INTO ANOTHER KIND OF TALE

(Lights rise--EDWARD sits up in bed)

WILL

LET’S GO

THE DOOR

IS JUST OUR FIRST OPPONENT

SO STEP OUT OF YOUR STATE OF SHOCK

WE ONLY NEED TO PICK THIS LOCK—

EDWARD

No need!

(From his bed, EDWARD pulls out the Key to

the City. Hands it to WILL. WILL finds a

wheelchair. Helps his father climb in.)

Act 2 - Scene 6

115

WILL

“WHAT’S NEXT” IS ALL ANYONE NEEDS TO BEGIN

“WHAT’S NEXT” HAS BEEN A FRIEND TO YOU

WHAT’S NEXT TO DO?

ONE WORD AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE MORE AGAIN

JUST LIKE A PEN

WRITING A PERFECT TALE

(The key “unlocks” the door. WILL starts to

wheel EDWARD through the “hallway.”)

WILL

OUT THE DOOR

AND PRAY THE COAST IS CLEAR

DR. BENNETT

Edward?

WILL

NOSES TO THE GROUND

BEFORE WE’RE SPOTTED

EDWARD

We were spotted!

WILL

SO, NOW WE FACE

THE ULTIMATE DECISION

RELINQUISH OUR CONTROL

AS WE SURRENDER UP THE FIGHT

OR ELSE WE SAY

HELLO TO THE COLLISION

JUST DO OUR JOB AND DO IT WELL

EDWARD

OR BETTER YET

LET’S RUN LIKE HELL!

(WILL pushes the chair fast, nearly

slamming into DR. BENNETT.)

DR. BENNETT

Will! What are you doing?

EDWARD

Figured out what’s wrong with me, Doc. Been out of the water too

long!

Act 2 - Scene 6

116

DR. BENNETT

Of course.

(Reaching an “elevator.”)

WILL

“WHAT’S NEXT” IS ALL ANYONE NEEDS TO BEGIN

“WHAT’S NEXT” HAS BEEN A FRIEND TO YOU

WHAT’S NEXT TO DO?

(Crotale plays a “ding” indicating the

elevator doors opening. They enter with a

NURSE in scrubs.)

WILL (CON’T)

ONE WORD AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE MORE AGAIN

JUST LIKE THAT PEN

WRITING A PERFECT TALE

EDWARD

(to NURSE)

Edward Bloom. Green’s a good color on you. Brings out your eyes.

(Another “ding.” WILL wheels EDWARD out of

the “elevator.”)

WILL

(”that’s enough”)

Alright, Dad.

EDWARD

You know who else had green eyes?

WILL

The mermaid?

EDWARD

The mermaid. Sea-green. Absolutely beautiful.

(Passing through the front doors of the

hospital--)

EDWARD

(points)

There! My old Chevy!

(EDWARD gulps from a water bottle)

Act 2 - Scene 6

117

WILL

EDWARD BLOOM

HOW DID YOU SWIM THROUGH DANGER IN THE WORLD

WHAT WAS IN THE HEART THAT BEATS INSIDE YOU?

WERE YOU SIMPLY WETTER THAN

THE ORDINARY AVERAGE MAN

OR WAS IT JUST YOUR FINS AND SCALES TO GUIDE YOU TO:

WHAT’S NEXT

EDWARD

WE START THE CAR

[SFX: ENGINE ROAR]

WILL

WHAT’S NEXT?

[SFX: Tire SQUEAL]

EDWARD

WE HIT THE ROAD!

WILL

WHAT’S NEXT?

EDWARD

WE FIND THE RIVER

WILL

WHAT’S NEXT?

EDWARD

I don’t, I...

(EDWARD is confused -- he knows and doesn’t

know.)

(Reveal The River Valley--CHARACTERS from

all parts of the story are waiting for

EDWARD, including AMOS, KARL, DON PRICE and

DR. BENNETT.)

WILL

AND WHO DO WE SEE AT THE RIVER TO GREET YOU

EVERYONE THERE AT THE RIVER TO MEET YOU

EVERYONE YOU EVER KNEW

Act 2 - Scene 6

118

WILL (CON’T)

EVER SPOKE OF

WAITING FOR YOU TO ARRIVE

NOW, CAN YOU SEE KARL BY THE TREE IN THE DISTANCE

AMOS ARRIVES WITH HIS USUAL FLAIR

GATHERED ‘ROUND,

CHEERING ON

YES, EVEN THE WITCH IS THERE

SHE IS THERE!

(THE WITCH enters with her crystal ball.

EDWARD climbs out of the wheelchair,

revealing better clothes under his hospital

gown. He starts shaking hands. It’s almost a

receiving line.)

WILL EDWARD’S FRIENDS

“WHAT’S NEXT” IS ALL ANYONE EDWARD BLOOM

NEEDS TO BEGIN WE’VE COME TO SAY GOODBYE

“WHAT’S NEXT” HAS BEEN COME TO TELL YOU WHY

A FRIEND TO YOU WE’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU

WHAT’S NEXT TO DO? YES, WE LOVE YOU

ONLY ONE DAD YOU

ONLY INSPIRING ONE SON

EDWARD, YOU’RE DONE

WRITING YOUR PERFECT TALE

TELLING THE PERFECT TALE

EVERYONE

IT WAS A PERFECT TALE

(THE MERMAID appears in the river)

EDWARD

Well I can’t say this was a surprise, exactly.

(gestures to THE WITCH)

But I thank you all for coming. A man is as rich as his friends.

I am a tycoon.

(EDWARD looks around--)’

But someone’s missin’ here...

[MUSIC SEGUES]

Act 2 - Scene 6

119

#20 HOW IT ENDS

(Sandra enters. She’s wearing a spectacular

dress. Edward greets her center-stage.)

EDWARD (CON’T)

I’VE SEEN THIS ALL BEFORE

WHEN I WAS JUST A CHILD

I MET A WITCH WHO TOOK A BOW

AND SHOWED ME HOW IT ENDED

WE STOOD HERE ON THE SHORE

THE AIR WAS SWEET AND MILD

WITH DISBELIEF IMPLAUSIBLY SUSPENDED

AND IN MY CHILD’S IMAGINATION

I REMEMBER YOU

(To KARL)

THOUGH I DIDN’T KNOW IF WE WERE FOES OR FRIENDS

BUT NOW YOU’RE STANDING HERE

I SEE THE VISION COMING CLEAR

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS ENDS

(Turns to SANDRA)

IT ENDS WITH YOU

IT ENDS WITH ME

IT ENDS THE WAY A STORY’S

ENDING IS SUPPOSED TO BE

A BIT INSANE

A TOUCH OF PAIN

ADEPTLY TOLD

YET UNCONTROLLED

IT ENDS WITH FAITH

IT ENDS WITH LOVE

IT ENDS WITH WATER IN THE

RIVER AND THE SUN ABOVE

PART EPIC TALE

PART FIRE SALE

BUT ALL SINCERE

AND STANDING HERE

(To WILL)

I KNOW I WASN’T PERFECT

Act 2 - Scene 6

120

EDWARD (CON’T)

I KNOW MY LIFE WAS SMALL

I KNOW THAT I PRETENDED

THAT I KNEW IT ALL

BUT WHEN YOU TELL MY STORY

AND I HOPE SOMEBODY DOES

REMEMBER ME AS SOMETHING

BIGGER THAN I WAS

IT ENDS WITH SONS

IT ENDS WITH WIVES

IT ENDS WITH KNOWING WHEN THE PAVEMENT BENDS

WE FIND OUR LIVES

SO LET IT COME

AND LET ME GO

SHOW ME THE WAVES

AND LET THEM FLOW

IT ALL ENDS WELL

THIS MUCH I KNOW

(EDWARD BLOOM’s departure is a big moment, a

celebration, appropriately triumphant and

unhurried. THE CHARACTERS of EDWARD’s

stories slowly exit as we return to the

hospital room.)

(WILL sits beside the bed, holding HIS

FATHER’s hand.)

WILL

And that’s how it happens. That’s how you go.

(The flatline of EDWARD’s monitor)

[MUSIC SEGUES]

(We stay in the moment, leaving WILL alone.

He kisses his father’s forehead. He then

moves downstage to--

Act 2 - Scene 6

121

SCENE 7

THE RIVER’S EDGE

(WILL finishes telling a story at the

funeral. A laugh from the guests. He and

JOSEPHINE then greet a receiving line of

MOURNERS, each of whom takes a daffodil to

toss in the water.)

(Among the guests, we see the “real”

versions of many of EDWARD’s characters.

WILL recognizes them from his father’s

stories. While the details were exaggerated,

EDWARD’s friends were real, including AMOS

and KARL THE GIANT -- a very tall man.)

#21 THE PROCESSION

MEN AND WOMEN

OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH

OOH, OOH

OOH (DOO DOO DOO DOO)

OOH (DOO DOO)

OOH

DOO, DOO

WILL

I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Will.

KARL

I’m Karl.

(KARL exits. Sharing a look, WILL and

JOSEPHINE exit)

[MUSIC SEGUES]

#22 BE THE HERO (REPRISE)

Act 2 - Scene 7

122

(Lights shift as SANDRA enters, carrying a

picnic basket. It’s not immediately clear if

this is just after the funeral, or some time

later.)

(WILL’s six-year-old SON runs in,

carrying a fishing pole.)

WILL’S SON

Grandma! Grandma!

SANDRA

What is it?

WILL’S SON

We just saw the biggest fish in the whole world! It was as big

as a car!

(WILL and JOSEPHINE enter)

WILL

Now, son. Let’s stick to the facts.

(look to SANDRA and JOSEPHINE)

It was at least as big as a truck.

WILL’S SON

Yeah, a truck! And we’re gonna catch it.

SANDRA

I can’t wait!

JOSEPHINE

(”get to it”)

I want to see this fish.

SANDRA

(to WILL and SON, re: basket)

You get hungry, there’s barbecue.

(JOSEPHINE takes SANDRA’s arm. They

continue walking, and exit.)

Act 2 - Scene 7

123

WILL

You know, it was right here on this spot that your granddad

helped me catch my first fish.

(gesturing wide)

It was this big.

WILL’S SON

How’d you do it?

WILL

That is a Bloom family secret -- passed only from father to son.

BE THE HERO OF YOUR STORY

IF YOU CAN

BE THE CHAMPION IN THE FIGHT

NOT JUST A MAN

ON A WING OR ON A PRAYER

YOU GET THERE ONLY WITH YOUR VOICE

WITH A STORY IN YOUR HEART

YOU WON'T NEED ANY OTHER CHOICE

YOU'RE THE HERO

FIGHTING DRAGONS

WINNING WARS

BE THE HERO AND THE WORLD WILL SOON BE YOURS!!

BLACKOUT

END OF MUSICAL

#23 BOWS

#24 EXIT MUSIC

Act 2 - Scene 7